


Desperado (We Could Be Runaways)

by flamefox428



Series: Dear Desperado [1]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Maybe a little angst, Song Inspired, road trip au, sort of slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-07 23:12:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13445421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamefox428/pseuds/flamefox428
Summary: When Beca quits her job, she decides to go with her original plan and go to LA to rediscover her passion for music. She leaves her entire life in Atlanta behind, but things don't always go to plan.Inspired by Desperado by Rihanna cause that song embodies everything about going on the run. Chapters will be titled after song lyrics that sum up the vibe of the chapter.





	1. There Ain't Nothing Here for Me Anymore

Beca loved her job.

Every day she got to go to work and work alongside musicians to bring their music to life. She couldn’t be happier about getting a job as a music producer. It wasn’t exactly the famous west coast DJ lifestyle she had envisioned back in freshman year, but she was making music and she was proud of it.

Sometimes musicians were hard to deal with. Beca knew that better than anybody. People could be sensitive of the things they were proud of, and not every musician appreciated it when you changed their track too much. They tended to get touchy if you strayed from their “artistic vision.” Yeah, right. 

Beca couldn’t care less about whiny musicians. For her, being a producer was all about the music. Making it come to life and creating something that would make people _feel_ something when they listened to it. She was sarcastic and bold and outspoken; characters traits that had gotten her into more than enough trouble over the years, and ones that would continue to cause trouble for her.

On more than one occasion Beca had gotten into disputes with musicians she was supposed to be working with. It wasn’t her fault. Sometimes they gave her crap, and she made it better. It wasn’t her fault that they didn’t always see it that way. More often than not, her boss would sweep in spouting some nonsense ‘street lingo’ to seem ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ and pull Beca out of the whole she so often dug herself.

Beca couldn’t decide whether she was grateful for this. Sure, she liked that her boss rescued her from asshole musicians who sometimes pushed one too many of her buttons, but she’d also disagreed with her boss’ calls on several occasions.

Where Beca was hard edges and opinions, her boss was complacent and cared more about keeping musicians happy and with the label than about the music itself.

It had been a point of contention between her and her boss for quite some time. Of course, Beca could only say so much about it without being reprimanded or fired, so she mostly kept her mouth shut. Sometimes though, she couldn’t stand the calls her boss made.

She wanted to be proud of the music she was producing, even if it meant she had to challenge a 6ft tall white boy to a fist fight over “artistic differences.” That had been an interesting day at the office for sure. Luckily, he thought it was more entertaining than her boss did so she was off the hook for that one.

Some days she hated her job. Some days she dreaded getting up in the morning and going to work, only to subject herself to the verbal abuse of particularly opinionated musicians. Some days she wished she could just pull the blankets back over her head and pretend she was still in college, where she could just skip a class she didn’t like.

Some days she hated it, but for the most part, Beca loved her job. 

* * *

 Beca hated her job. She’d made up her mind once and for all. The ‘loving her job’ part of herself had been absent for a long time, and lately it had been more and more ‘hating her job.’ 

She’d had a long day and she was tired of dealing with this obnoxious rapper. His tracks were crap but he was popular, so her boss insisted they work to keep him happy. The part that pissed her off the most was that originally her boss had loved the modifications she made, but as soon as he had complained about them, her boss had turned around and hung Beca out to dry.

Beca hated her boss. The woman was so complacent that she’d fold as soon as a musician complained, just to make sure they wouldn’t leave the label. That wasn’t music. That wasn’t what Beca wanted. _Beca_ _’_ _s on her period_ , she had said when Beca got mad at him over the original track. _Are you fucking kidding me right now?_ Is what Beca had thought upon hearing that comment.

Beca had already been annoyed for a while, but that had been the final straw for her. She couldn’t stand dealing with whiny musicians and weak sorry excuses for music producers. 

“I quit!” She finally said. Her boss looked at her in surprise, as if she was trying to understand what Beca had just said. Beca felt an overwhelmed smiled stretch across her face. “Yeah, I quit.” 

“Beca-” her boss started, but Beca cut her off. 

“No! I quit, that’s it,” Beca said, grabbing her stuff and moving to the door. “I quit.” 

 _If only I had just gone to LA back in freshman year_ , Beca thought to herself. She could have avoided all of this. She could be an established DJ, making her own music and not putting up with all this whiny Atlanta crap. 

Beca jammed her headphones in her ears and blasted her angry music playlist as she left the building, dragging her feet along the sidewalk. The more she thought about what could have been, the more she wanted to make it happen. She was so sick of Atlanta. She was ready to leave. 

 _That_ _’_ _s it_ , Beca thought, coming to a stop. _I_ _’_ _ll just leave_. It’s not like there was anything tying her down in Atlanta anymore. She had no job. Her dad was always teaching, and she would visit occasionally. The Bellas, well they all had grown up jobs now as well, they would be fine without her. It’s not like they needed her to lead them anymore. 

For the first time in months, Beca felt genuinely excited. She was basically vibrating in anticipation. She changed course and took a different route home, one that would take her by the used car lot on seventh street. She ran through mental plans, making lists of what to pack and coming up with a game plan for what she would do when she got to LA. In the end, it wouldn’t matter. She was doing something spontaneous and new and nothing could stop her. 

An hour later, she had a car. She was out $6,500, but the black Chevrolet was all she’d ever wanted in that moment. She shook the eccentric salesman’s hand and took the keys, getting into the car and navigating her way to her apartment. When she arrived, she parked on the street and turned off the car, just taking a moment to sit and think. 

“Is this crazy?” Beca asked herself out loud. She thought for a minute. Thought about what she was about to do. Thought of where the future would take her. “Yes, this is crazy, and I’ve never been more excited.” 

She smiled and got out of the car, heading upstairs to her apartment in a rush. She unlocked the door and breezed into the apartment, brushing past Amy and heading to the closet. 

“Hey Beca, how was work?” Amy asked, munching away at some strange Australian cookies or something. 

“I finally did it! I quit my job!” Beca said, her voice muffled by the closet. 

“You were fired?” Amy gasped. She grabbed Beca and pulled her backwards out of the closet, pulling her into a hug. 

“No! I quit! I chose to!” Beca explained, half-yelling as she struggled to free herself. “This is an overreaction!” 

“It’s okay Beca, I am here for you,” Amy assured, petting her head as she squeezed her. 

“Amy!” Beca yelped. “Let me go!” 

She finally wriggled free of Amy’s iron grip and dove back into the closet, pulling out her two suitcases. Amy moved to sit on the bed as Beca threw them open on the floor and began packing things into them. 

“Oh, are we going on a trip?” Amy asked. “I suggest we go somewhere hot and sunny where we can lay on a beach and sip pretty pink drinks.” 

“No, no vacation,” Beca said. “I’m leaving.” 

“Sorry…you’re what?” Amy asked, suddenly giving Beca her full attention. 

“I’m sick of Atlanta! I quit my job today, Amy! There’s nothing here for me now!” Beca yelled, taking a break from her packing to pace back and forth in their small apartment. “I’m leaving and I’m going to LA!” 

“Los Angeles is across the country, how are you getting there?” Amy asked. 

“I got a car on the way home,” Beca said, losing some of her anger as she sat back down beside her suitcase. 

“Beca, come on,” Amy said. “This is crazy! You’re being crazy. You just lost your job, you’re going through a lot right now. Don’t make any rash decisions. Don’t be crazy!” 

“I’m not being crazy Amy! I always wanted to be in LA making music anyway, it’s about time I finally do it!” Beca shouted, her anger back. “This is happening.” 

“Beca please, at least sleep on it okay? Don’t do anything tonight,” Amy begged. Beca faltered, but eventually gave in. 

“Fine, I’ll give it some time and think about it,” Beca said. “But I’m leaving, and when I do, I’m not coming back.” 


	2. Ain't No Going Back

Emily was walking home, whistling a happy tune. She felt bittersweet walking through campus. She only had a few days left here, and then she would be packing her stuff up and handing the key over to the new Bellas captain. Four years had gone by so fast. Soon she would have to decide what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. She was thinking this over when she got the notification from Facebook. Her phone pinged merrily and she pulled it out of her pocket to see who was trying to reach her.

**Amy created the chat: URGENT**

**Amy added you and 9 others to the chat**

**AMY: Ladies we have a problem**

Emily looked at her phone in alarm, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to respond.

 **CHLOE: What** **’** **s going on?**

**CYNTHIA ROSE: Yeah details girl**

**EMILY: Is everything okay :(** **why isn** **’** **t Beca in the chat?**

**AMY: Meet at the bar on 22 nd St. in 20 mins.**

Emily felt nervous. It had to be something really serious if Amy wouldn’t tell them over chat. She sent a text off to the new Bellas in their group chat, letting them know she wouldn’t be back home until late. With that taken care of, she detoured towards the bus stop and jumped on the first bus that passed so she could get there as soon as possible. 

She arrived at the bar at the same time as Aubrey and Chloe, who took a moment to hug her in greeting. She smiled, happy to see them again after so long, but her stomach still churned with apprehension. The three walked in together to see the rest of the girls sitting in a booth, heads down and in deep conversation. 

“Finally! You’re here!” Amy said, pulling them down into the booth. “I said it was urgent!”

“We got here as fast as we could Amy, now what’s going on?” Aubrey said sourly. 

“Where’s Beca?” Emily asked again, severely worried that no one had answered her earlier question.

“Beca’s gone insane! That’s where she is!” Amy shouted. Emily’s mouth snapped shut, her jaw clicking audibly, and she sat down stiffly as Amy continued. “She’s leaving.”

“Leaving? What do you mean leaving?” Cynthia Rose asked.

“Beca quit her job and now she’s running away to LA! She bought a car and everything! She’s lost her tiny mind,” Amy wailed, slamming a hand on the table. The girls gasped and all began to talk at once, trying to shout over each other to be heard. 

Emily tuned out the rest of the Bellas as the conversation spiraled. Beca was leaving? Just…packing up and leaving Atlanta? Leaving her dad? Leaving the Bellas? Leaving…her? Emily’s heart ached in a sudden sharp pain. She didn’t want Beca to leave. She didn’t ever want Beca to leave. When she’d gotten her music producer job here Emily had been overjoyed. Primarily because she was happy Beca was doing something she loved, but also selfishly, because it meant Beca had a reason to stay in Atlanta. But now she was leaving? Emily was snapped out of her thoughts when Amy smacked a hand against the table again, jostling it slightly.

“We have to convince her to stay!” Amy urged. “We have to talk to her, but we have to do it together!”

“Like an intervention,” Stacie said.

“Exactly,” Chloe said solemnly. “If she hears it from all of us then she’ll have to realize that she wants to stay here. We’re a family, and family doesn’t just leave.”

“Should we though?” Aubrey said, finally voicing her thoughts. She had been as quietly contemplative as Emily had.

“What? Are you crazy?” Chloe squeaked shrilly, slapping Aubrey on the arm.

“I’m just saying we should consider Beca’s feelings as well,” Aubrey said. “Maybe this is what’s best for her.”

“How could this be what’s best for her?!” Amy said indignantly. “She’s just stressed because of her job and she’s letting it all out in a crazy way. She needs to see that her life in Atlanta isn’t over just because she lost her job.”

“Easy, easy,” Aubrey said, holding her hands up defensively. “Just a thought.”

“I’m guessing Beca doesn’t know we’re meeting?” Stacie asked. “What did you tell her?”

“Didn’t, just told her I had to run out for a while,” Amy said. “She was pretty steamed when I left though, so I think she was glad to be left alone.”

“Alright, so tomorrow morning we all go out to brunch and we convince Beca to stay in Atlanta,” Chloe said resolutely. She put her hand out and the Bellas stacked their hands on top of it in support.

“Everything is going to be alright,” Stacie said, even if it sounded like she was trying more to convince herself.

“Tomorrow,” Chloe stated again, cementing the plan as they all got up and went their separate ways. 

Chloe and Aubrey offered to give Emily a ride back to campus, which she happily accepted. It was getting late and she didn’t feel like waiting for a bus in the dark. All she wanted was to go home and crawl into bed and never leave her room again.

She was silent the whole ride back, letting Chloe and Aubrey talk amongst themselves quietly. Emily leaned back in her seat and looked out the window, counting the street lights as they passed. She sighed and thought again about the possibility of Beca leaving. Maybe Beca and Aubrey were right. Maybe there wasn’t anything left in Atlanta for Beca, and maybe this new move would be what she needed. Still, it didn’t make Emily feel any better about the situation. She only hoped they would be able to convince her to stay.

When they got to campus, Emily thanked Aubrey for the ride and leaned between the seats to hug both girls goodbye. She stepped out of the car and trudged up the walkway to the front door. She sighed and turned her key, stepping inside and turning to wave at the car as Chloe and Aubrey drove off. Emily spun on her heels and practically dragged herself upstairs to bed.

She went through her nighttime routine mechanically, still lost in thought about what Amy had revealed. The more she thought about what Aubrey had said, the more it sort of made sense to her. She wasn’t surprised Aubrey had been the one to speak on behalf of Beca; she was always the rational grown up. Maybe the move would be the best thing for Beca. She had always said she wanted to go to LA.

She remembered her first week in the Bellas, spent in mild fear that Beca hated her. She remembered Chloe telling her about how Beca was naturally closed off, and how in her freshman year, Beca hated the Bellas. Beca had wanted to run off to LA the entire year before finally realizing she loved being a Bella.

She remembered spending that night at Aubrey’s team building retreat. How Beca and Chloe had gotten into a fight and Beca had shouted about how she was leaving. How they all had to leave eventually. She was right, as she so often was in her own way.

Emily slipped into bed, suddenly exhausted. Today had been long and tiring, both emotionally and physically. Emily’s whole body melted into her mattress and she groaned when her phone buzzed. She reached blindly for it and unlocked it, seeing a message from Beca.

She had sent her a video of pandas from the zoo playing in the snow. Emily cooed and watched the video, laughing at the little pandas. When Beca texted her again saying the video made her think of Emily, Emily threw her phone and rolled onto her stomach to scream into her pillow in frustration.

She rolled over and lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She wanted nothing more than to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. She tried to think of anything other than Beca leaving, but the thought kept creeping back in and chasing away her sleep. She took a deep, shuddering breath and sighed. She scrubbed a hand across her face and was surprised to find tears there. She was tired and confused and upset and she just wanted to go back in time to yesterday when everything was normal. When Beca wasn’t leaving. 

She wanted her to be happy. In her heart, she knew what was right. LA would be the best thing for Beca.

Now Emily just had to figure out what that meant for her.


	3. Actually I'm Going With You

The next morning, Beca woke up to a rapid knocking on the door. She groaned and rolled out of bed, trying to tame her bed head as she swung open the door. She faltered for a second at seeing the Bellas there, but moved aside to let them in regardless.

“Morning Beca!” Chloe said cheerfully. Beca narrowed her eyes at them suspiciously. They all had overly enthusiastic smiles on their faces, especially at this hour.

“Hi guys,” Beca replied hesitantly. “Did I forget we had something planned?”

“No,” Stacie said absently. “We just thought we would surprise you and maybe take you out to brunch.”

“You know,” Chloe continued casually. “Catch up and hang out together and all that.”

Beca narrowed her eyes and moved into the room, letting the Bellas follow her. She didn’t know what they had planned but she didn’t like where this was going.

“Seriously, what’s going on?” Beca asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Can’t we just come visit our favourite captain/best friend?” Cynthia Rose asked.

Beca cast a scrutinizing look at Chloe. She was the worst at hiding things. Chloe fidgeted slightly under Beca’s intense gaze and her eyes flitted around the room. They landed on Beca’s almost fully packed suitcases and she frowned. She didn’t look confused in the slightest. It took her a minute, but Beca finally realized what was going on.

She frowned and grabbed the cereal box off the counter, throwing it at Amy in bed, who jolted awake in alarm. Beca crossed her arms and huffed, drumming her fingers against her elbow in agitation.

“Really Amy? You called in the cavalry?” Beca sighed. “What did you think that was going to change?”

“I thought it would make you realize that you needed to stop being crazy,” Amy said grumpily, digging her hand into the box of cereal that Beca had thrown at her.

“We thought we could all go to brunch together and just talk about it,” Chloe said, trying to ease the tension with a warm yet nervous smile.

“No, I’m not going to brunch so I can listen to you all try to tell me that I’m being ridiculous,” Beca groused. “I’m going to LA.” 

“Beca come on, be serious,” Stacie said. Beca bristled. This was not how she wanted to start her morning at all. She didn’t appreciate Amy going behind her back to stage some sort of intervention and she didn’t want to go to brunch. She just wanted to pack and say her goodbyes, and just leave.

“I am being serious,” Beca growled. “I bought the car, I’ve been packing, and I’m ready to leave.”

“Beca come on, just come to brunch,” Cynthia Rose said, trying to reason with her.

“I’m not going to your fucking intervention brunch!” Beca shouted. The room fell silent and Beca’s anger melted away to a sigh as she scrubbed her hands across her face. Beca titled her head back and sighed again before continuing weakly. “I just really wanted you guys to be supportive. We’re supposed to be family.”

“I think LA is the best thing for you,” Aubrey said, speaking up for the first time. She stepped forward and pulled Beca into a gentle hug. Beca stood stiffly for a moment as Aubrey continued. “I think if you want to do this, then you should. You’re still young. Go find yourself a little bit of crazy.”

Beca’s bottom lip quivered and suddenly she was feeling too much and damn it she was _not_ going to cry. Instead she bit down on the inside of her cheek and wrapped her arms around Aubrey, hugging her properly. It was crazy to think that eight years ago, Beca was ready to rip this girl’s head off at a moment’s notice. And now here they were, Aubrey the only person willing to take a chance and believe in her.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. Aubrey let go of her and moved to sit on the foot of the bed by Amy.

“So, when do you leave?” Aubrey asked.

“Ideally? As soon as possible,” Beca admitted. She moved to toss more of her belongings into her pack, shuffling around and packing up her laptop and soundboard. The rest of the Bellas awkwardly moved to sit on the bed as well, watching Beca pack.

Beca moved around stiffly, not enjoying having an audience while she packed. Her eyes kept flitting over to the girls on the bed every few seconds, trying to scan their faces. Most seemed upset, but Emily appeared to be lost in thought. Was she as upset as the rest of the Bellas?

Beca didn’t want any of them to feel hurt or abandoned by the decision she was making. She wasn’t running away or giving up or whatever they thought she was doing. She was taking a leap of faith and going after something she had wanted for a long time. It was just time for a change. They had to understand that.

She grabbed another pile of folded clothes and stuck them into her suitcase. She sighed heavily and shifted awkwardly on her feet, dropping to the ground to place more of her belongings in the few cardboard boxes scattered around the room. She found her yellow Bellas scarf hanging over the back of a chair and her eyes watered as she picked it up.

She swallowed her tears roughly and tied the scarf around her wrist, feebly playing with the loose ends from where she’d made the knot. She looked at that scrap of yellow fabric and thought again about what she was leaving behind. It made her heart ache, but she felt an equal amount of excitement and wonder when she thought about the move to LA. This would be the best thing for her. She knew it would.

She could feel the eyes of the girls on her as they watched her silently. Beca coughed roughly and cleared her throat. She shook herself out of her emotional tangent and continued to pack, resolutely avoiding their gazes.

“I’m sorry Beca,” Chloe finally said. “Families support each other. I think if this is what you really want, then I want it for you too.”

This seemed to kick the other Bellas into action, and they chorused their agreement of Chloe’s sentiment. Beca felt her heart squeeze and warm at the same time. She loved these girls, and she would miss them with all her heart. Still, it felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders at finally having them see it from her point of view.

“Before you’re allowed to leave you still have to come to lunch with us at least,” Stacie ordered playfully. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Beca chuckled playfully, feeling overwhelmed and tired and happy all rolled into one. She was relieved to finally be able to talk about this with them. She had gotten used to being a part of the Bellas family and she didn’t enjoy placing herself on the outside like she had done her first year in the Bellas.

“What’s the plan anyway?” Cynthia Rose asked.

“From Atlanta to LA it’s 32 hours straight across,” Beca said. “Through 10 states. I could probably do it in about three days.”

“What about when you get to LA?” Stacie questioned. “I mean, you do have a plan, right? Like a place to live?”

“I’ve already scheduled a viewing of an apartment I really like that I found at a pretty good price. I think it’ll pan out well, and then really it’s just get a job as soon as possible and get settled I think,” Beca explained.

“Okay well, it sounds like you’ve got it all figured out,” Aubrey said encouragingly.

“We’ll leave you to the packing then,” Chloe said. “I’ll make a reservation for lunch, say, around 12:30?”

“Sure, whatever works for you guys,” Beca replied.

With that taken care of, the Bellas filed out of Beca and Amy’s apartment, Amy opting to go with them. It wasn’t until Beca shut the door and turned around that she realized Emily was still there, sitting on the foot of the bed and nervously palming the sheets.

“Hey Emily, you okay kid?” Beca asked. “You were quiet that whole time.”

Emily looked like she really wanted to say something, but for some reason she wasn’t saying anything. Beca moved to sit next her on the bed. She put a gentle hand on Emily’s, calming the younger girl’s nervous movements. 

“Emily?” Beca tried again. “You okay?”

“Yes,” she said immediately, followed by a more hesitant “No. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Talk to me Legacy,” Beca insisted. She twisted her own fingers into the bedsheets nervously. “Did I…have I upset you?” 

Emily remained quiet, staring intently around the room and looking at anything that wasn’t Beca. Her eyes eventually fell on the scarf around Beca’s wrist and stayed there.

“Emily, please,” Beca tried again. She was starting to feel nauseous. Emily was normally the happy, bubbly one and it didn’t feel right to see her so quiet and unsure. Beca especially hated it if she was the reason for it. “Talk to me.”

“I’m going with you,” Emily said. It was so quiet and timid that Beca almost didn’t hear it.

“What?” She said in surprise. Emily seemed to gain some confidence and she looked up at Beca with a determined fire in her eyes.

“I’m going with you to LA.”


	4. There Ain't No Leaving Me Behind

“You’re what?” Beca asked incredulously. Amy had been talking all night about being crazy. Beca wasn’t crazy. No, _this_ was being crazy. “Emily, what?

“I’m going to LA,” Emily repeated, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

“You can’t, that’s insane,” Beca said, standing up and beginning to pace again. Emily looked mildly offended.

“So, it’s not crazy that you’re going to LA, but when I decide to, it’s suddenly insane?” Emily pouted.

“Emily,” Beca pleaded. “You belong here, this is your whole life.”

“Change is good, Beca,” Emily said. “I’m graduated, I don’t have a steady job yet; if there was ever a time to leave, now would be it.”

Beca fell silent, thinking about what Emily was saying. Sure, it made sense. Emily was an adult and could make her own choices after all. So why did Beca hate the idea so much? Why did it make her feel so guilty to spirit Emily away from her home in Atlanta?

“Beca,” Emily said again. “I want to go with you.”

“Well-” Beca started. She was flustered and couldn’t get her thoughts straight. “Well- you can’t!”

“Why not?” Emily asked. She was being confrontational and pushy and not at all like her usual self. The hurt in those big brown eyes was something Beca did recognize though. “Do you not want me there? Does the thought of spending 32 hours in a car with me make you want to die? It’s not like we’re running off together, as soon as we get to LA you don’t ever have to see me again!” 

Emily ran out of steam after her rant and she slumped back onto the bed, her head in her hands. Beca’s stomach churned. She wanted Emily to do what was best for her, and Beca was never the poster child for being a good influence. She was always the kid that mothers warned their children about. What was Emily even going to do in LA? She had no plan. Beca had a plan and she was ready to tell Emily to wake up and join the real world.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Emily sighed eventually. “I know you’re trying to get away from this place or us or whatever you’re doing. I didn’t mean to ruin it by coming along.”

Beca stayed silent, unsure of what to say. She wasn’t trying to run away or leave anyone behind. She was just doing something that would make her happy. Seeing Emily sitting there on her bed, Beca took a minute to be selfish. To imagine fleeing the state and hitting the road with Emily in the passenger seat, the windows down and the wind in their hair, some shitty pop song on the radio. She _wanted_ that. She wanted Emily to come.  

But she just couldn’t. Beca wasn’t even certain her _own_ plan would work. Hell, she could end up crawling back to home to her dad in Atlanta with her tail between her legs. She’d die first before admitting she was wrong, so she’d probably end up living on the street out a refrigerator box first. And there was no way in hell she was dragging Emily along for her ride into the gutters. Emily had a future here. One that meant her getting a job and staying safe and secure not living from paycheck to paycheck to pay for the high rent in LA.

“You know what? Just forget I ever brought it up,” Emily said robotically. She stood and moved to give Beca a stiff, awkward hug that lacked her usual warmth. “This is me saying goodbye now, I don’t think I’ll be coming to lunch. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Emily turned and moved towards the door. This was it. Beca had to choose. She had to make a decision that was going to change both their lives. She felt guilty for it, but she knew what she wanted.

So why couldn’t she admit it out loud?

She watched in mild horror as Emily looked at her one last time and sighed heavily before leaving the apartment. The door swung shut with an audible click and Beca fought with the warring sides of herself. What was she doing? She needed to go after her and say something before Emily was out of her life forever. She couldn’t have their last interaction be total shit just because she couldn’t make up her mind.

But then again, this was an easy out. Emily would hate her, but she would stay in Atlanta where she belonged. Where she would be safe and happy. She couldn’t decide and it was tearing her apart. She channeled all her _who gives a crap_ energy from yesterday when she quit her job, and tore out of the apartment after Emily. The elevator doors at the end of the hall clicked shut just as Beca rounded the corner.

“Shit,” Beca growled to herself. She was only mildly conscious of the fact that she was still wearing her pyjamas and just socks as she rushed down the three flights of stairs to the ground floor. She made it into the lobby just as Emily stepped out of the elevator.

“Wait!” Beca shouted. Emily whipped around to face her in clear surprise and Beca bent double and held up a finger to ask for a minute while she caught her breath. 

“Beca, look-” Emily started in that same defeated tone, before Beca cut her off.

“Wait, I just-” Beca tried again. She huffed and scrubbed her hands across her face. “Just fuck this place you know! Let’s just do it! Who cares? Come with me!” 

“Really?” Emily asked, eyebrows furrowing in surprise. She looked cautious, like she didn’t quite believe what Beca was saying.   

“Yeah, man! Let’s just do this!” Beca reassured, feeling her excitement bubbling up in her belly. Emily’s infectious smile made a grin appear on Beca’s face as well as Emily jumped forward and pulled Beca into a hug, squealing. 

“Oh gosh, I have to go pack!” Emily said suddenly, releasing Beca and slapping a hand to her forehead. “We’re moving! Like, leaving the state! I have to go get all my stuff from the Bella house!”

“Alright, I’m finished up here, so we’ll swing by campus and grab all your stuff,” Beca said as she hit the button for the elevator again. “I need actual clothes, and then your stuff, and then lunch.” 

“Oh man, we still have to tell everyone else,” Emily said, a slightly pained expression on her face as she stepped into the elevator again.

“Hey here’s a thought,” Beca said, shrugging her shoulders and making an awkward face. “How about we skip lunch and just leave now.”

“ _Beca_ ,” Emily chastised. “We’re not leaving without saying goodbye.”

“I know, I know,” Beca grumbling, waving a hand at her dismissively. She stepped out of the elevator and moved back to her apartment. “Let’s get moving, we’ve got a lot to do and only two hours to do it.”

Emily stopped her on her way to the door, back to her shy self. She took a second to gather her thoughts before pulling Beca into another hug. This one was warm and intimate and like every other hug that Emily had ever given her. It made Beca feel safe.

“Thank you,” Emily said softly. Beca wasn’t sure she understood exactly what Emily was thanking her for, so she said nothing. She only nodded and held Emily a little closer, a little tighter; enjoying the moment for a just little longer.


	5. Gotta Get Up Outta Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, but I finally have my laptop and all my precious files back, and hopefully I can get back to a semi-regular posting schedule. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter after the wait you had! The road trip finally begins!

Between Beca’s organization and Emily’s excitement, it didn’t take long for them to pack up all of Emily’s stuff. Beca waited awkwardly on the porch while Emily said her tearful goodbyes to the new Bellas. She scuffed the toe of her shoe against the ground and whistled absently, not quite sure what to do, but not wanting to interrupt.

After the girls had wished Emily well and sent her off with hugs and kisses, Beca moved to the car to drop Emily’s suitcases into the trunk. They would take them with them to lunch and then hit the road and leave Atlanta.   

“We need snacks too,” Emily said idly as they drove across town to the restaurant. 

“We’re literally going to eat lunch right now, you can’t wait a few minutes?” Beca asked incredulously. Emily fixed her with a deadpan look, sighing briefly. 

“Not for right _now_ ,” Emily corrected. “For when we leave. You know, road trip snacks.”

“Oh,” Beca said plainly. “Okay yeah, we can stop by a gas station or convenience store or something on the road.”

They fell into an easy silence as they drove along. Beca gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles, nervous about the upcoming lunch. She didn’t do well with emotional goodbyes, or emotions in general. She remembered how they had all been saying goodbye at graduation, and her nerves intensified. This was a much bigger and more definite goodbye. _Chloe is going to cry like a baby_ , Beca thought, cringing and trying to take a relaxing breath.

A gentle hand covered hers on the steering wheel and she snapped out of her panic spiral. She looked over at Emily, who was watching her with gentle, attentive eyes. She said nothing, but offered Beca and slight grin, squeezing her hand briefly. Beca nodded and loosened her grip on the steering wheel, relaxing back into her seat as she parked the car in the lot.

Her and Emily stepped out and took a moment to steel themselves. Beca wasn’t sure what the reaction was going to be when they told them Emily was going as well, but she was preparing herself for the worst, just in case. Emily, in a stroke of courage, took Beca’s hand.

Beca offered her a stiff smile and took small comfort in Emily’s warm hand in her own. Together, they walked into the restaurant. The Bellas were seated at a large round booth, already ordering drinks as Beca and Emily slid into one end of the booth. 

“Has Legacy been hogging you all morning?” Amy asked teasingly. “I hardly think that’s fair.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Beca said, barking a stiff laugh. “I’m here with all of you now so let’s just enjoy this lunch.”

“You’re right, you are here,” Chloe said, her voice already teary sounding as she smiled fondly at Beca. “We’re together as a family.”

“Chloe please, do not start with that,” Beca said firmly. “Turn it off until we’re done lunch, _please_.” 

Chloe nodded and wiped her eyes, taking a steadying breath and smiling brightly again.

“This is crazy though,” Lilly spoke up. “You must be so excited.” 

“I am, yeah,” Beca admitted. “A little nervous, but mostly excited.” 

The waitress returned and the girls took a brief break from conversation while they all ordered their food. Beca’s nerves were chasing off her appetite, so she ordered a flatbread from the appetizer menu, wanting something small and light. Once the waitress left, Stacie tapped a hand on the table energetically, looking like she’d just remembered something. She dug around in her purse before pulling out a CD and handing it to Beca. It was in a blue case and the CD itself had all the Bellas names scrawled on it in different colour sharpies, with the words “DJ Shawshank: A Bellas Party Mix” written across the middle.

“We made this for you to listen to in the car on the way there, or whenever really,” Stacie explained. “We each put two songs on it so that way when you listen to it you can think of us. We all gave our songs to Jessica and Ashley and they put them on this for you.”

Beca stared down at the CD in her hand, blinking owlishly and saying nothing. She flipped it over and on the back, there was a track list with each person’s name beside the songs they had put on. She could feel her throat stuffing up and her eyes burning like they always did before she cried. 

“Beca?” Emily prompted gently. Under the table, she gave Beca’s knee a quick and reassuring squeeze. 

“What?” Beca said, snapping out of her thoughts. She shook her head and blinked away her unshed tears, trying to play it cool. “Oh yeah, totally. Thanks so much you guys, this really means a lot to me.” 

It was an earnest attempt, but the girls knew Beca well enough now to know when she was feeling emotional. They were all looking at her with sad, adoring smiles and Beca sniffled and took a large sip of her drink to give herself something to do. The girls could tell Beca didn’t want to talk about it, so they struck up other conversations while they waited for their food.

Emily and Beca fell into their own little bubble while everyone else chatted, and Emily shifted in her seat so she could lean her shoulder against Beca’s. She nudged her gently, giving her a tentative smile.

“You okay, Beca?” Emily asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Beca assured with a fleeting smile. Emily smiled again, a little more confident this time.

“ _We_ _’_ _ll_ be fine,” Emily corrected, giving Beca a conspiratorial smile. She leaned closer to Beca and dropped her voice to a murmur. “When do we tell them anyway?”    

“Wait until we get food and then I guess just whenever it feels right?” Beca suggested. She pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulders, not having any better answer to offer to Emily. Emily shrugged as well and nodded, seemingly willing to go with the flow. 

“Hey! What are you two whispering about over there?” Amy demanded. “You better not be talking shit.” 

“Me?” Beca gasped in mock shock. “I would _never_.”

“Yeah sure, Mitchell,” Amy said, rolling her eyes playfully as the rest of the girls laughed. 

Beca would truly miss them, but she was sure she would visit occasionally.

Their food came not long after that and the conversations lulled to a few words here and there as they ate. Beca picked at her flatbread, eating any little bites that she could stomach as she got more and more anxious for this lunch to end. Chloe kept casting her concerned looks between comments to the other girls, and Beca knew Chloe knew something was going on. She always knew. Beca shifted in her seat for the third time and Chloe finally huffed, having had enough of the charade. 

“Beca, are you okay?” She asked with an exasperated sigh. “You haven’t been able to sit still the entire time and you look like you have something important on your mind. You know you can tell us anything, right?” 

“I have something to say,” Beca blurted out before she could stop herself. _Oh well_ , she thought. _This is as good a time as any_. Chloe nodded encouragingly and the girls quieted to give her the floor to speak. That would’ve been great, had Beca not lost the ability to form words. She wasn’t sure how they were going to take this.

“Well?” Cynthia Rose pressed.

“I um-I just-we-” Beca started, trying to decide the best way to break the news.

“I’m going with Beca,” Emily piped up for her. She said it so nonchalantly, and didn’t even look up from her club sandwich.

“What?” Chloe said, dumbfounded. 

“I’m going with Beca to LA,” Emily clarified, eerily calm about the whole situation. Beca was thankful, one of them had to be level-headed and right now it certainly wasn’t her. “We’ve already packed up all my stuff.”

The girls were silent, all of them looking back and forth between Beca and Emily, trying to determine whether they were being serious. It wasn’t exactly the reaction Beca was expecting, but she would take it over outrage and chaos any day. Amy was the first one to finally speak up.

“Is this a kidnapping?” She asked solemnly. “Emily blink once for no and twice for yes.”

“What? Amy!” Beca sputtered, mildly offended. “I’m not kidnapping her! This was her choice!”

“I think if anyone at this table is capable of kidnapping, it’s Lilly or Beca,” Flo cut in. Beca made another indignant sound.

“Okay well,” Chloe started. “Since the intervention brunch didn’t happen we’re going to have to make this an intervention-that’s-not-an-intervention lunch.”

“What?” Beca questioned again. 

“Emily is this what you really want?” Aubrey asked, ignoring Beca’s question.

“Yes,” Emily said confidently. “Without a doubt.”

Beca’s heart fluttered momentarily at how certain Emily sounded. They were really, truly doing this.

“Alright then,” Cynthia Rose added. “This is good, you two can look out for each other since you won’t be alone out there.”

“That’s the plan I think,” Emily said, suddenly looking uncertain. Beca made a mental note to ask about that later.

“God, I can’t believe this turned into a double goodbye lunch!” Chloe wailed suddenly, finally breaking down into tears.

“Chloe, don’t, come on,” Beca said awkwardly. For the millionth time in her life, she wished she was better at comforting people. “It’ll be okay, it’s not goodbye forever, just for now.”

“I know,” Chloe said, her voice thick with tears. “I’m just going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” Beca said softly. Chloe smiled at her again, with a tinge of sadness to it this time.

“Alright well,” Emily said. “Lunch was great, but we should probably get a move on if we want to make good time.”

“Yeah,” Beca agreed lamely. Her eyes were burning again and she was starting to get a migraine as the girls all stood. It was like watching Emily say goodbye to the new Bellas, except this time Beca was unsure of what to do because _she_ was involved in the farewells.

The girls all gave Emily and Beca tight hugs and kisses on foreheads and cheeks, wishing them well on their drive. Chloe held her tightest and longest out of everyone and Beca found it in her to squeeze back just as tight.

“Thank you for everything,” Beca said lowly, so only Chloe could hear. She nodded against Beca’s shoulder.

“Thank you for giving me a chance,” Chloe replied softly.

Beca was holding it together well, until Amy stepped forward to hug her. She was holding back tears as well and all Beca’s emotions hit her in a sudden, crashing tidal wave. She pointed a finger accusingly at the blonde.

“Don’t,” Beca ordered firmly. “Don’t cry. If you cry I’m going to cry.”

“Beca,” Amy said, opening her arms.

“Don’t make that face, I hate that face,” Beca insisted. “I’m not doing this with you.”

“This is my regular face,” Amy insisted as her tears began to fall. Beca could feel tears tracking down her own cheeks now. Amy pulled her into a tight hug and Beca really began to cry. Amy pulled back and held her at arm’s length, looking at her seriously. “I love you Beca, you just get out there and you crush it so hard. You’re going to find great things in LA, I just know it.”

“Thank you,” Beca whispered weakly, hugging Amy again.

“Take care of Legacy, alright?” Amy said quietly. Beca nodded and finally released her.

Beca turned away from Amy and came face to face with Aubrey, who was teary eyed and looking at her with a mixture of sorrow and pride. She took Beca’s hands in her own and gave them a comforting squeeze.

“Don’t be afraid to make some mistakes,” she said. “I hope you find whatever you’re looking for, but make sure you don’t look so far ahead that you miss the things right beside you.”

With that, Aubrey cast a look over to where Emily was hugging Amy, Chloe, and Stacie and laugh-crying. Beca looked over at her as well. She was feeling too many things. Her body was too small to hold them all. She gripped at Aubrey’s hands like a lifeline and let her tears fall freely for the first time all afternoon. She took in a shuddering breath and looked back up to Aubrey, nodding her head. Aubrey gave her one last sad smile and pulled her in for a quick hug before letting her go.

“Alright,” Aubrey said. “It’s time for you little birds to leave the nest.”

Beca walked over to Emily and leaned full body against her, looking for warmth and comfort. Emily took Beca’s hand again and gave it a squeeze. The girls all walked out to Beca’s car and stood on the sidewalk as Beca and Emily slid into the car. Emily rolled down her window and Beca leaned over so she could see the Bellas standing on the sidewalk.

“Goodbye Beca, goodbye Emily,” Chloe said. The girls chorused their own goodbyes and well wishes one last time as Beca started the car.

“Promise to call and visit?” Stacie prompted.

“Of course!” Emily said with a sad smile.

“I love you awesome nerds,” Beca said, her voice thick with tears. She looked up at them and hoped they could see the emotion in her eyes, even if she was unwilling to convey it verbally.

With that said, Emily rolled up the window and the car rumbled to life. The Bellas stood on the sidewalk and waved, laughing and crying as they did. Emily took Beca’s hand and squeezed tight, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Beca watched the Bellas in the rear-view mirror until she turned the corner and they disappeared from sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already have a playlist for Beca's CD, but let me know if you guys want me to make a Spotify playlist or something for the tracks on the CD so you can listen to it too! :)


	6. Sitting in an Old Monte Carlo

True to her word, as soon as they passed a gas station along the highway, Beca had pulled over. She filled the tank with gas while Emily went inside and gathered everything that could ever be considered a “road trip snack.” She returned to Beca with her arms full of grocery bags and dumped them in the back seat, shuffling a box or two to make some space.

When the snacks were settled, she leaned against the car, watching Beca pumping gas. When Beca quirked an eyebrow at her, Emily just shrugged and slipped on the sunglasses perched on her head. Beca rolled her eyes and stuck the gas nozzle back in the pump, closing the tank and sliding back into the car. When Emily made no move to get in the car, Beca rolled the window down and shouted out at her. 

“If you don’t get in the car I’m leaving you behind,” Beca barked. Emily leaned down until she could be seen in the open window. 

“Relax,” she said with an easy smile. “We’re going to have a great trip. I’m just saying one last goodbye to Atlanta.”

Beca’s previous smile faltered before disappearing and she faced out the front windshield again. Her fingers drummed impatiently on the steering wheel until Emily got in the car and buckled up again. When she realized Beca wasn’t starting the car, she turned to look at her with a questioning gaze. 

“What’s the problem chief?” She asked.

“You don’t have to do this,” Beca said mostly to herself.

“Do what?” Emily asked.

“You don’t have to come,” Beca said again. Emily heaved a sigh and leaned over to turn the key in the ignition.

“And yet here I am,” Emily said. When the engine rumbled to life she sat back in her seat and pulled out a coiled book of _Maps of the United States_. Beca kicked the car into drive, but not without a curious side-eye at Emily’s book. 

“We have phones you know,” Beca said. “This is 2018, we don’t need a paper map. Where did you even get that?”

“Gas station,” Emily said simply. “And we’re going on a cross country road trip Beca, we need a _paper_ map. It’s part of the experience.” 

“All you need is red bull and faith,” Beca replied. Emily flicked her sunglasses down so she could give Beca an unimpressed look over the lenses. 

“Anyway,” Emily said eventually, going back to her map. 

Thirty minutes later, they were out of Atlanta. An hour and 45 minutes later and they had finally left Georgia and crossed into Alabama. So far, the trip didn’t feel real to Beca. They were just two friends driving along a road listening to shitty pop tunes. Well, Beca was listening to shitty pop tunes. Emily was loudly singing and dancing along to the songs and trying to get Beca to join in with her. After four more songs with no success, Emily flicked off her sunglasses and fixed Beca with a pout.

“Beca,” she said firmly. “It’s no fun if you don’t sing along too.” 

“I’ll sing along when it’s good song,” Beca replied with a lazy smirk that she knew would get a rise out of Emily. 

“That’s not fair!” Emily said indignantly. _Bingo_.  “I can’t control what’s on the radio!” 

“That sounds like a you problem, kiddo,” Beca responded, focusing back on the road. Emily huffed and slouched into her seat, pouting up a storm. It didn’t take long for her to bounce back and begin singing along to the radio again.

“If we keep going at this pace, we should make it to Memphis at around 8pm,” Beca announced a while later. “We left a little later than I had originally planned.”

“Okay, are we stopping there or will we keep going?” Emily asked, flicking through her map book and circling things with a golf pencil. 

“It’s been a long day so we’ll call it a night in Memphis,” Beca replied. Emily made a noncommittal hum in response and Beca chanced a glance away from the highway to look at what Emily was doing. “What are you circling?”

“Oh, just places I want to see along the way,” Emily said absently, drawing a little route out in pencil that connected the different things she had circled. 

“What?” Beca asked. “Along the way, what do you mean? The plan was 32 hours straight there, three days.” 

“Well, I know that was _your_ original plan,” Emily began. The way she said it had Beca on edge. Emily had already thought she’d won. _Not a chance_ , Beca thought, jumping at the challenge.

“That’s the only plan,” Beca responded.

“Oh, come on Beca!” Emily insisted. “We’re doing a cross country road trip! We can’t just see a couple things? Really quickly?”

Beca made a contemplative noise as if she were thinking it through. Really, she was just enjoying how much of an _I really want this_ vibe Emily was putting out in hopes that Beca would agree.

“It’ll be so fun! We’ll see a lot of cool things, promise,” Emily continued, trying to really sell it. For good measure, she threw in a pout. “Please Beca, for me?”

“Don’t do that, not that look please,” Beca started, feeling her resolve crumbling. “You know that’s not fair.” 

“Please?” Emily asked again, really laying into the pout.

“No! Come on, we had a plan, a carefully crafted plan,” Beca insisted.

“But Beca,” Emily whined, leaning over the center console to beg.

“No! I’m not looking, I’m driving,” Beca grumbled. She cast her eyes skyward before mumbling to herself. “Just keep driving.”

“Come on,” Emily tried again, making her big brown eyes as wide and innocent as possible and fluttering her eyelashes.

“Okay fine! Fine, you win,” Beca relented, throwing a hand up and heaving a sigh. Emily leaned over the console and wrapped her arms around Beca’s arm, squeezing her bicep and laughing happily.

“It’s going to be so fun,” Emily assured, before falling into a more serious tone. “Beca? I’m glad I’m going with you.”

“I’m glad too,” Beca said, a smile small pulling at her lips.

* * *

 A few hours passed, and Beca wasn’t as sure she was so glad to have Emily with her after all. It turns out that Emily did not do well sitting in a car for hours on end with nothing to do. The girl was normally a ball of energy, and being cooped up in the car with nothing but the radio and a few books was not doing it for her.

“Are you hungry? I’m hungry,” Emily said as she unbuckled her seatbelt and turned in her seat to reach the snacks in the backseat. She couldn’t quite get to them, so she turned fully to lean her upper body between the two front seats. Her wiggling caused her hip to knock into Beca’s shoulder, and Beca gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“Watch it, I’m driving,” she chastised, shoving at Emily’s hip with her shoulder in retaliation. Emily made a noise of protest and eventually landed back in her seat holding a pack of Twizzlers. She ripped into the pack and pulled out two licorice ropes, handing one to Beca.

“I’m not a huge licorice person,” Beca informed her, taking the rope anyway and putting the end in her mouth.

“You don’t have to eat it, I got lots of other stuff,” Emily said, reaching to take the rope dangling from Beca’s mouth, but Beca shook her head and turned away so Emily couldn’t take it. Emily huffed a small laugh and sat back in her seat again, putting her feet up on the dashboard.

“How long until we get to Memphis?” Emily asked for the third time that day.

“Just about 2 more hours,” Beca responded. Emily made a high-pitched groaning sound to announce her displeasure with this fact. “You’re going to have to get used to being in the car kiddo, it’s a long drive to LA.”

“I know,” Emily sighed. “I’m just so bored.”

“Well, find a way to entertain yourself,” Beca responded. _Is this how parents feel?_ Emily tapped her fingers against her legs for a while before digging into her bag and pulling out the CD the Bellas had given Beca. She popped open the case and went to put it in the stereo, but Beca laid a hand over hers to stop her.

“Not yet,” Beca said simply. She wasn’t ready to hear what was on the CD. Not when the goodbyes were still so fresh in her mind. Emily nodded in understanding and put the CD into the glovebox instead, pushing it closed.

Forty-five minutes later, Beca could still see Emily shifting around out of the corner of her eye. She decided to take pity on the younger girl and reached over with a hand, grabbing the map book off the floor and dropping it into Emily’s lap, all the while keeping her eyes on the road.

“Here,” she said. “Why don’t you tell me about the things you want to see along the way?”

Emily lit up and nodded, hastily flipping through the book of maps. Eventually she found the page for Memphis, and held it up, tapping the circle there.

“Graceland,” she clarified. “We have to go see where Elvis lived."

“Alright that one is cool, I like that idea,” Beca admitted, offering a small grin at Emily’s proud smile. Emily rambled on and on, flipping through pages of the book and explaining the different sites she wanted to see while Beca got lost in her thoughts.

Truthfully, Beca didn’t exactly mind extending their cross-country road trip. When they had argued about Emily coming to LA, she had said that Beca never had to see her again when they got there. Since then, Beca had been thinking of the drive as the slowest removal of a Band-Aid she would ever experience. She wouldn’t admit it out loud to Emily, but this sort of felt like one big delayed goodbye. If she was being completely honest with herself, Beca wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Emily yet. She didn’t know if she ever would be.

Emily had become such a staple in Beca’s life. Of course, all the Bellas had been, because they were her family. Emily was a different kind of constant though. Beca couldn’t really explain it, but it didn’t feel right to not have Emily in her life in some capacity. Because of that, Beca was dreading parting ways with the bubbly brunette.

“Beca are you listening?” Emily whined, waving a hand in Beca’s periphery. Beca snapped out of her thoughts and cast a look over to Emily.

“Of course, I’m listening, you were saying something about Oklahoma being a zoo?” Beca rushed to say, hoping she had heard right. “We can avoid that area if you want.”

“Beca,” Emily said, giving the older girl an unimpressed look. “I said I wanted to _go to_ the Oklahoma City Zoo. What’s got you so distracted?”

“Just thinking,” Beca replied absently, drumming her thumbs against the steering wheel and flicking on her sunglasses.

“About what?” Emily said curiously, shifting sideways in her seat so she could lean against the window and look at Beca. Beca considered her options. She could make something up, she could ignore the question, or she could be honest. _Fuck it_ , she thought as the corner of her mouth lifted in a little smirk.

“Thinking about you,” Beca answered truthfully.

“Oh,” Emily said, her head snapping to stare out the front windshield. Beca’s little smirk turned into a full-blown grin at seeing Emily’s pink cheeks and the bright smile she was trying to hide.

Beca chuckled to herself and Emily flushed a darker pink. Luckily for Emily she was saved from responding as Beca pulled off the highway onto the exit that would take them into Memphis. By now the sky was dark and the clock was reading 8:27 pm.

“Finally!” Emily groaned, sitting up in her chair properly. “We’ve been driving forever!”

“And tomorrow we’ll drive for longer,” Beca said, laughing at Emily’s displeased whine. She pulled into the lot of a Comfort Inn not too far off the highway and turned off the car. “Are you going to wait in the car or do you want to come in with me?” 

“Why make two trips?” Emily suggested as she grabbed her smallest carry on. “Just grab your bag now and we won’t have to come back to the car.”

“Seems fair,” Beca agreed, reaching into the backseat to grab her overnight bag. When she emerged from the car, Emily grabbed onto her arm, holding it tight.

“Besides, it’s dark and we’re by the highway and the forest and it’s a little creepy,” Emily squeaked as she rushed them into the hotel, Beca laughing in her wake. Beca walked them up to the front desk and whipped out her wallet.

“Hi, we’re just checking in for the night. What’s your availability?” Beca asked. The clerk behind the desk tapped away at her computer for a moment.

“For the two of you I have rooms with twin beds, but the cheapest option would a room with a queen bed,” she responded, looking up again.

“We can take that one, it’s a long way to LA,” Emily said to Beca, tugging at her sleeve.

“Price-wise it makes sense,” Beca agreed, muttering to Emily as the clerk waited for an answer. “We’ll take the queen room.”

“Great, here’s your key, room 305,” the clerk responded, handing them a sleeve with two room keys. “There’s a coffee maker in the room, and your stay includes a complimentary breakfast in the morning.”

“Ooh, waffles,” Emily said happily. Beca chuckled, shaking her head fondly.

“Thanks,” she said to the clerk, nodding her head. “Have a good night.”

The clerk smiled and Beca led Emily to the elevators. They stood, waiting for a moment before they stepped into the elevator and made their way up to the third floor. Room 305 was on the left side of the hall, and when they entered the room the curtains were open, showing a view of the forest. Emily immediately went over and closed them.

“I don’t care if Bambi is from the forest, it’s still creepy at night,” Emily insisted. She dropped her bag by the bed and flopped down onto it, sighing tiredly. Beca dropped her bag onto the table by the bed and moved into the bathroom to get changed into a tank top and sleep shorts. 

“All we did was sit in the car today how am I so sleepy?” Emily asked loudly from the main room.

“We had a long day,” Beca offered as she brushed her teeth. “Get into your pyjamas and go to sleep, we’ve got an early morning.”

Emily hummed in agreement and when Beca finished up with her nightly routine, she scraped her hair into a messy bun and went back into the main room. Emily was already in her pyjamas: a blue shirt and pyjama shorts patterned with Snoopy. She brushed by Beca and headed into the bathroom to brush her teeth while Beca flicked off the lights and slid into bed. She set an alarm on her phone and plugged it in, snuggling under the covers.

She stared up at the ceiling in the dark and let herself think again. If she had made this trip alone she would be alone in a dark hotel room in Tennessee, and not listening to Emily hum while she brushed her teeth, the light from the bathroom casting a faint glow into one half of the room. She sighed and rolled over, facing the wall.

Eventually, Emily came out of the bathroom, flicking off the light and sliding into bed beside Beca. She yawned widely and settled into the pillows, pulling the blanket up to her chin. Beca was hyperaware of the space between them as they lay in the bed together.

“Goodnight Beca,” Emily said softly, yawning again. She wiggled around, scooting over on the bed until her side was pressed up against Beca’s back, sighing and settling down to sleep.

“Night kiddo,” Beca said, just as softly. Beca waited until Emily’s breathing had evened out before she rolled over to face the younger girl. She was snuggled up against Beca’s side, her face serene and innocent. Beca couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at her lips as she settled an arm around Emily. The younger girl made a contented noise and snuggled her head into Beca’s shoulder. Eventually, Beca closed her eyes, feeling peaceful as she drifted off to sleep.


	7. I'm Not Tryna Go Against You

Beca woke up the next morning to the blaring of her cell phone alarm. She yawned and blinked awake sleepily, rubbing her face against the pillow she was spooning. She moved to sit up, but found she couldn’t with Emily’s arms wrapped around her waist.

_It_ _’_ _s a spoon train!_ she heard Chloe’s excited voice yell in her head before she immediately pushed the thought away. Instead she focused on Emily’s arms around her and her hands splayed out across Beca’s stomach, and the way the warm breath on her neck made her shiver. _Would it really be so bad to just stay like this all day?_ Beca thought fleetingly, before deciding they needed to get going.

She shook herself loose of the sleepy haze still hanging around her head and carefully wiggled out of Emily’s grasp. Emily frowned in her sleep and made a displeased noise, pawing at the sheets in search of Beca again before her hand landed on the other pillow and she pulled that to her chest instead. 

She was still sleeping soundly, so Beca tiptoed around the room, getting dressed and packing everything up for them to leave. She pulled out Emily’s change of clothes and left it sitting on the foot of the bed for her while she put their packed bags by the door. 

Once everything was ready to go, she crawled back into bed and over to Emily, gently shaking her awake. 

“Hey,” Beca said softly. Emily only sighed and rolled over, tugging Beca back down into bed with her as she snuggled up against her again. Beca squeaked and went down into the sea of sheets in alarm. She wiggled around and kicked all the blankets off them, sitting up again. She had tried to be gentle, dammit! 

“No, it’s fine,” Emily mumbled sleepily. She reached out for Beca again, who dodged her arms. “The cat’s got the French toast.” 

“Hey!” Beca said, ignoring the nonsense she was spouting and bouncing on the bed a couple times to wake Emily. “Emily! Wake up!”

“Beca?” Emily said groggily, finally waking up. She rubbed her tired eyes and sat up, looking at Beca with a dazed expression. “Jeez you aren’t patient in the morning.”

“Excuse you,” Beca grumbled as she crawled out of bed. “I tried to be nice but you wouldn’t wake up.”

Emily laughed lightly and rolled out of bed, grabbing her change of clothes from the foot of the bed. Apparently early-morning-Emily didn’t care much for boundaries, because she began to undress before Beca had a chance to process what was going on. Beca yelped and spun around, moving towards the door.

“I’m going to go put the bags in the car I’ll meet you downstairs for breakfast okay? Okay, great,” Beca mumbled in a rush as she grabbed the bags and fled the hotel room. She could feel her cheeks warm as she paced around the small elevator and then strode purposefully across the parking lot to put their stuff in the car.

What was going on with her?! It was just Emily! Just awkward, energetic little Emily who was older now and a far cry from the shy freshman she once knew.

“Oh, lord,” Beca mumbled to herself as she rested her forehead against the car door she was leaning against. She gathered her strength and walked back into the hotel lobby, moving to the front desk to return the key cards to the clerk.

When she turned, she was met with the sight of Emily, now bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and fully awake. She smiled brightly and looped her arm through Beca’s, leading her into the little self-serve kitchen just off the lobby.

“There you are,” she said with a teasing smile. “I was beginning to think you’d gotten lost on the way to the car.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing you got that map book then,” Beca said weakly. Emily snorted a laugh and nudged Beca with her shoulder, shaking her head.

“Come on, it’s waffle time!” Emily said enthusiastically.

* * *

 Three hours later, Beca and Emily were back on the road again. 

“That house was gigantic,” Emily said in awe, still looking through the tourist brochure the tour guide at Graceland had given her. 

“Rich people have big houses,” Beca agreed.

“We should get a pool table, Elvis had like four,” Emily said. She flinched when she realized what she had said, accidentally tearing the brochure in her hand as she did. “I mean uh-you could get a pool table for your apartment. If you wanted to. Since it’ll be your apartment.”

“Okay weirdo,” Beca said, giving Emily a look. Emily seemed determined to not make eye contact and had settled for tearing the ripped brochure into little pieces of paper. “Don’t make a mess.”

“Sorry!” Emily squeaked, dropping all the paper pieces carefully into the cup holder. She was acting weird. Weirder than usual.

“What’s eating you?” Beca asked, looking at Emily in mild concern.

“Nothing it’s fine,” Emily insisted. She really seemed to not want to talk about whatever was bothering her, so Beca let it go. For now.

They spent the next three hours of the trip in silence, the only sound coming from the radio. Beca would ask Emily questions occasionally, but would only receive strained one or two word answers. It was getting to the point that whatever was making Emily nervous was starting to get on Beca’s nerves too. What could she be thinking about? Beca’s own inability to handle human emotion kept her quiet for another hour. Eventually, she broke and turned to Emily with an exasperated scowl.

“Will you please talk to me?” She asked. “We’re going to be in this car together for a long time, and it would be way better if you weren’t in a pissy mood about something the whole ride.”

This was apparently _not_ the right thing to say.

Emily turned to look at Beca with a mix of hurt and anger in her eyes. Her normally smiling face was turned into a deep frown and she crossed her arms over her chest defensively. Beca immediately wanted to backpedal and apologize for her insensitivity, but before she had a chance to Emily jumped on her words.

“Sorry the way I feel is so inconvenient to you Beca,” she spat. The way she said it though, with so much emotion, had Beca feeling like there was some underlying tension that was being addressed, and not just the current situation.

“I’m sorry Em, I didn’t mean it like that,” Beca said urgently, avoiding Emily’s eyes and staring resolutely down the road.

“Then how did you mean it?” Emily said indignantly. “I’m just such a whiny little pain in the ass? Beca ‘I’m allergic to emotions’ Mitchell just doesn’t want to deal with me?”

“Okay, that’s unfair,” Beca said sternly, getting frustrated herself. Emily huffed and rolled her eyes dramatically.

“So sorry to inconvenience you again,” Emily sniped, slouching in her seat and staring out the passenger side window before she grumbled out her next sentence, more to herself. “I guess you would’ve preferred to leave me behind in Atlanta.”

“Now you’re acting like a whiny little pain in my ass,” Beca snapped, repeating Emily’s earlier statement as she gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles.

“Whatever, Beca,” Emily said, her voice shaky and thick as she put her headphones in and blasted her music. Beca sighed in frustration and flexed her fingers against the steering wheel, sitting in the silent fallout from their fight. There was a tense, electric feeling sparking between them as they both sat silently ignoring the other. Beca hated confrontation, but confrontation with Emily was even worse because she was normally so bubbly and optimistic. Seeing her upset and angry was like seeing Amy voluntarily doing cardio. It just wasn’t natural.

Emily sniffled and Beca looked over in alarm to see that the younger girl was in tears. As she watched, Emily huffed a quiet sigh and wiped her tears on her sleeve angrily.

“Fuck me,” Beca said lowly to herself. It’s not like Emily could hear her. Her heart dropped into her stomach and she pulled a hand from the steering wheel awkwardly. She reached over and gently prodded at Emily’s knee, but the younger girl swatted her hand away and wrapped her arms around herself like a shield. Beca knew the feeling all too well, which made her feel that much worse for helping make this happen.

She sighed and gripped at the steering wheel again, her body tensing at every small sniffle and whimper Emily made as she silently cried to herself. This was probably the worst experience of Beca’s life. Worse than being kicked out of the Bellas by Aubrey in freshman year, worse than embarrassing themselves in front of the president, worse than dealing with her shitty boss.

Emily wasn’t even a foot away from her, and she was hurting. Yet Beca couldn’t do anything about it because Emily wouldn’t even let her fucking try. Normally Beca would’ve loved the excuse to not have to comfort a crying person, but this crying person was Emily. Beca hated upsetting her friends, but upsetting Emily was worse. All she wanted to do was protect her and make her happy and hold her hand and just kiss her stupid face. _What the fuck,_ she thought to herself. _Where had that come from?_ She pushed the thought aside, because it was so _not_ the time, and instead focused on the problem at hand. 

She wracked her brain for all the things she could do to make it up to her, but she couldn’t come up with anything that would fix the problem right now. She tried to channel Chloe’s nurturing nature and ran through a couple scenarios in her head of how Chloe would fix the problem, but they were all too sweet and too emotional for Beca to handle. She would just be awkward and fuck it up even more.

_That_ _’_ _s it!_ she thought. _Fuck it up even more!_ When she and Amy had arguments, and got passive aggressive with each other, they would piss the other one off until they got so mad that they blurted out the real reason they were mad, and then they could fix the problem.

Emily would probably appreciate a Chloe approach more, but she was stuck with Beca and Beca did the one thing she was best at. Pissing people off so much that they just snapped on her.

She flicked on the radio and cranked it up so loud it almost hurt. The thumping bass made the car vibrate and Beca’s phone, which was clipped in its windshield holder, rattled so hard it actually fell to the floor. Emily jumped in her seat and whirled to face Beca. She ripped out her headphones and regarded her angrily.

“What are you doing!” Emily yelled over the music. “Turn that down!”

“Why don’t you make me Legacy!” Beca shouted back. She began to loudly sing along to the radio, basically shouting the lyrics. Emily was practically fuming in her seat.

“Why do you always have to be such an ass about everything!” Emily yelled.

“I wouldn’t have to be an ass if you weren’t being a child,” Beca said back to her, returning to obnoxiously singing along to the radio. 

“If you weren’t driving this car I would lean over and strangle you!” Emily shouted in frustration. 

“I’d like to see you try!” Beca sang back. She knew this was risky but she needed to keep pushing.

“You are IMPOSSIBLE TO DEAL WITH!” Emily shouted. The tears were returning to her eyes now, but Beca was positive she almost had her.

“I guess I learned it from you,” Beca mocked. 

“ _If you didn_ _’_ _t want to deal with me you should_ _’_ _ve left me back in Atlanta!_ ” Emily finally screamed, her tears flowing freely now. Beca immediately flicked off the radio and threw on her hazards, pulling off the road and onto the shoulder.

“So that’s what this was about,” Beca said softly. Emily was crying harder now and had her arms wrapped around herself in a hug. Beca opened her arms and Emily threw herself over the center console and pulled Beca into a hug as she continued crying.

Beca could feel her seatbelt digging into her collarbone and Emily’s tears soaking into the collar of her shirt, but she remained in her awkward, half over the console position, shushing the crying girl.

“Emily, you have to stop stressing about this, okay?” Beca assured. “If I didn’t want you to come, I would’ve _made_ you stay in Atlanta. Don’t doubt for a second that I want you here, okay?”

Emily sniffled and nodded her head against Beca’s shoulder.

“We’re almost to Oklahoma City,” Beca said, trying to cheer her up. “And then we’re going to get out of this stupid car and go to bed, and in the morning, I’m going to take you to the zoo.”

“I’m sorry I got so upset,” Emily said, finally pulling back from Beca and rubbing at her eyes. “I don’t know what happened. It’s like it all came bubbling up at once.”

“It’s okay kiddo,” Beca said, giving Emily’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “But next time you’re feeling upset about something, don’t make me pry it out of you?”

“Deal,” Emily said with a watery laugh, giving Beca a tired smile.

Beca gave her a slight grin back and kicked the car back into gear. She pulled back onto the road and turned the radio on and down, heading for the exit that would take them to their next destination.


	8. I Can Be A Lone Wolf With You

Emily woke before Beca did the next morning. She yawned, pulling a sleeping Beca tighter against her and pressing her face into her mane of brown hair. She still felt anxious about their argument in the car yesterday, but she was glad that Beca had been able to pick up on what was wrong. She felt ridiculous about getting that upset though. It wasn’t Beca’s fault that Emily had feelings for her, and it certainly wasn’t Beca’s fault that Emily was so on edge about it. She wasn’t quite sure what came over her. She had been upset about it and she’d been doubting herself, and Beca’s tactless approach to Emily’s silence had been the match that sparked her explosion. She hugged Beca tighter before quietly crawling out of bed, stretching languidly as Beca’s alarm finally went off.

The smaller girl groaned and blindly swiped at her phone, knocking it off the nightstand. It hit the floor and continuing ringing away merrily. Beca growled and rolled out of bed, grabbing her phone and finally silencing the loud alarm. She looked like an angry little raccoon and Emily couldn’t help but chuckle. Beca _really_ wasn’t helping Emily’s heart get over her. 

“Good morning,” Emily said brightly. Beca mumbled something that _might_ have been a good morning as she grabbed her clothes and shuffled into the bathroom. Emily smiled after her and quickly got dressed herself, opting for a comfier sweater and leggings for the day. Beca had told her that this portion was going to be a particularly long drive, so Emily wanted to be cozy.

An hour later, they were pulling into the parking lot at the Oklahoma City Zoo. Emily was bouncing in her seat in excitement. She loved the zoo, and hadn’t been to one in years. She hopped out of the car and grabbed Beca’s hand, dragging the smaller girl to the gates. Emily blushed when Beca insisted on buying her ticket for her, and she gasped when they entered the zoo.

“Oh, Beca, look!” Emily squealed as she gestured excitedly at the park map she was holding. “You can feed the giraffes! And they have a train that goes through the park!”

Emily was practically vibrating in excitement. She couldn’t wait to see all the animals. Beca was much calmer, taking the map and examining it for a minute.  

“If we go counter clockwise around the park then we can start with the rhinos and the giraffes and then see everything else,” Beca said as she located them on the map and marched off toward the giraffe exhibit. Emily bounced along behind her, humming happily.

“This is so exciting, I’m excited, are you excited?” Emily asked Beca, who had her nose in the map again as they walked.

“Yeah super-duper,” Beca responded. She looked up and gave Emily a more genuine smile. “I’m happier about how excited you are though.”

Emily beamed at her and in a stroke of courage, she linked their fingers, swinging their hands between them. Beca gave her a look of something before smiling and letting Emily keep her hand.

Emily broke away from Beca when she saw the giraffes, running excitedly up to the pen. There were a couple giraffes at the edge of the enclosure, greeting the visitors. Emily climbed up on the platform to pet the soft snout of one that leaned down to nose at her. Emily laughed and when she turned, Beca was smiling and taking a picture of her on her phone.

“Would you like to feed one?” A zookeeper asked, handing Emily a few leaves of romaine lettuce. Emily smiled brightly and held up the lettuce, giggling as the giraffe’s long tongue scooped it out of her hands.

“Beca put the phone away and come feed a giraffe with me!” Emily said happily.

“I thought I did that this morning when I got you breakfast,” Beca teased with that wry smile of hers. Emily barked and laugh and shoved her shoulder. Instead of responding she gave Beca a piece of lettuce and watched as the shorter girl held her arm upright. Another giraffe leaned down and licked Beca’s arm as it took the lettuce leaf, munching happily.

“It’s fun, huh?” Emily said happily. Beca smiled genuinely and nodded at her.

They continued in this way, Emily practically dragging Beca from exhibit to exhibit as she cooed at all the animals. They were on their way to the zoo gift shop and exit when Beca stopped dead in her tracks, her hand flying out to grip tightly at Emily’s forearm.

Emily was alarmed for a moment, until she saw the absolute wonder in Beca’s eyes. She turned to see that they were walking by the red panda exhibit, and they were out and running around, tumbling over each other and climbing on the trees in their enclosure.

“Oh my god,” Beca breathed, staring at the small animals. Emily chuckled in disbelief and tugged Beca closer to the enclosure.

“Have you never seen red pandas before?” Emily asked.

“Not in person,” Beca said. “They’re like every adorable animal all in one animal.”

“Yeah they’re really cute! They have them at the zoo back in Atlanta too,” Emily said with a smile. Beca hugged Emily’s arm tighter against her chest as she watched the red pandas run around.

“I want one,” Beca said suddenly and desperately. Emily had never seen her look so amazed by something before. “Emily look at them!”

“I know, I see them,” Emily giggled. She looked down at the sign to read more information about them while Beca continued muttering about all the things she had to do to be rich enough to own a red panda. A zookeeper walked up to the enclosure with a small container full of apple chunks, whistling merrily.

“Hello ladies, admiring the red pandas? They’re a popular animal at the zoo,” the zookeeper said with a smile. She moved towards the entrance to the enclosure, looking back and noticing how star struck Beca seemed. “Do you want to feed one?”

“Oh my god,” Beca said in alarm, gripping Emily’s arm even tighter. Emily chuckled and freed herself from Beca’s grasp, giving her a shove towards the zookeeper.

“She would love to!” Emily said with a bright smile. The zookeeper took Beca and Emily into the caged area inside the enclosure and opened the gate. One of the red pandas came bounding over and climbed up onto the zookeeper’s shoulder, sniffing at her ear. The zookeeper handed Beca an apple slice and Beca looked like she was going to die as she held it up to the red panda. It nosed at her hand and took the apple slice, munching away at him and making a happy chirping sound as two more came to greet them, circling Beca’s legs.

Emily’s heart fluttered as she watched Beca fawn over the red pandas with tears in her eyes. She took out her phone and snapped a couple pictures of Beca petting the red panda on the zookeeper’s shoulder while one tried to climb up her leg.

When they finished with the red pandas, they headed out to the zoo gift shop to leave, Beca trailing along beside Emily in silent amazement still. Emily had never seen something so adorable. She snuck away from Beca in the gift shop and stealthily bought the softest red panda stuffed animal she could find, before finding Beca again.

“Jesus, Emily,” Beca said, looking relieved. “Don’t just wander off like that, I was worried when I turned around and you were gone.”

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise!” Emily said with an excited smile, pulling the red panda plush out of the bag and handing it to Beca. Beca hugged it to her chest before pulling Emily in for a hug.

“Oh, my god, I love him,” Beca said. “I’m going to name him Lil’ Red.”

“I love it,” Emily chuckled as they got back in the car, this time with Emily in the driver’s seat. She was going to take the shift this time since Beca had woken up extra tired that morning. She pulled out of the parking lot, and soon enough they were back on the road.

* * *

 A few hours had passed and it was nearing 6 pm. Beca had fallen asleep clutching at her red panda around an hour ago, leaving Emily to sing quietly to the radio and entertain herself as she drove. At one point Beca had shivered and Emily had cranked up the heat and draped a sweater over Beca’s sleeping form.

The soft opening notes of “Something Just Like This” by the Chainsmokers floated through the car’s radio and Emily smiled slightly. That had been one of her picks for Beca’s CD; not that they had listened to it yet.

Emily sang along, and as she sang, she thought. She thought about the Bellas back in Atlanta, and about the trip so far, and about what lay ahead. They hadn’t spoken about what was going to happen when they got to LA, and frankly Emily was scared to. When she had been trying to convince Beca to let her come and Beca had been insisting she didn’t, she’d overreacted because she thought it meant Beca didn’t want her around anymore. The thought hadn’t sat right with Emily so she’d stupidly blurted out that they’d never have to see each other again when they got to LA.

What was her plan? What was she going to do when she got to LA? She didn’t have a plan. She’d been impulsive and terrified and she wasn’t ready to let go of Beca yet. She had however long it took them to get to LA to figure out what to do, but she was too nervous to bring up the topic with Beca. If worst came to worst, she could just buy a plane ticket and go crawling back to Atlanta. 

The thought crossed her mind that maybe she could just stay with Beca when they got to LA, but she quickly pushed that thought aside. That wasn’t the agreed upon deal. She’d already messed with Beca’s plans enough by making their trip twice as long as it needed to be. Besides, what if Beca didn’t even want her around when they got to LA? Their fight yesterday had convinced her that Beca liked having her along for the ride, but that didn’t mean she wanted Emily to live with her in LA. The thought made Emily’s heart ache, and she cast a quick look over to where Beca was sleeping soundly and hugging her red panda.

She was so incredible. She had blown Emily away from the moment she had met her, and she had only gotten better since. She was beautiful and complicated and guarded and sweet. She was a sarcastic little menace, but she made Emily happy. She was lightning in a bottle and everything Emily had never known she’d needed until now.

She didn’t realize she was crying until she got around to the chorus again and could no longer sing the words. This trip was turning out to be one extended goodbye. A last hurrah of sorts before she and Beca parted ways in LA and probably never saw each other again. She found herself wishing that the road trip would never end. They were only a few days away from California. That meant she only had a few days left to be with Beca. And then she would leave and take Emily’s heart with her. The thought made her ache, and her tears ran down her cheeks a little harder. She sniffled and scrubbed her fist across her face to wipe away some of the tears.

It was dark outside now and the only light came from the occasional car and the streetlights that flashed by them, illuminating the highway in bursts. The radio was a quiet hum in the background and Beca’s soft breathing echoed in Emily’s ears along with her pounding heart.

Emily didn’t know what to do, so she just kept driving.


	9. Running From Any Sight of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my friend usually reads these before I post them, because I like to test run my content before publishing it for you guys to make sure it reads well and is actually like, quality. This chapter I literally just finished and I was really excited about it so I haven't let her read it yet, which means I have no idea how it's going to be received. I thought you guys deserved a new chapter though, and I didn't want to wait, so hopefully you will like it!

Emily had managed to dry her tears by the time they arrived in Albuquerque. She cast a quick look at Google Maps, open on her phone, before pulling off the highway and into the lot of the closest hotel. She’d gently shaken Beca awake and grabbed their bags, leading a half asleep Beca into the lobby. Once the room was paid for, they had headed up and crawled into bed, falling asleep shortly after that.

* * *

When Emily woke up the next morning, it was to Beca’s alarm going off at 10. Today was a shorter drive to Flagstaff, so Beca was content to let them sleep in for a couple of hours. The girls rose sleepily, yawning and fumbling around the room as they took turns showering and preparing for the day.

An hour later they were back in the car with Beca behind the wheel. She was sipping at a coffee from the hotel and munching away at a carrot muffin while she drove, windows down and the wind sweeping through her hair. Emily was sure Beca got more beautiful every time she looked at her. She was so caught up in staring at her that she hadn’t realized Beca had asked her a question.

“Earth to Emily?” Beca asked, waving a quick hand in front of Emily’s face. Emily snapped out of her trance and blushed lightly, facing forward out the windshield again.

“Sorry what were you saying?” Emily rushed out.

“I was just asking if you would put in the CD,” Beca said, almost shyly. “I want to hear what’s on it.”

“Oh!” Emily said, slightly surprised. She was certain they would make it all the way to LA before ever listening to that CD. She pulled it from the glove box and pushed it into the stereo, waiting in excitement as the CD loaded. They’d all given their songs, but they hadn’t told each other what they’d put on. The only ones who knew everyone’s were Jessica and Ashley since they had burned the CD.

The opening riff to Titanium began to play through the cars speakers, and Beca gripped the steering wheel hard, a timid smile on her face.

“Let me guess,” she said. “That one is Chloe.”

Beca and Emily sang along to the various songs the girls had added on, the music ranging from Party in the USA – thanks Aubrey – to Highway to Hell courtesy of Amy. Emily couldn’t remember having as much fun as she was having in that moment with Beca. They were yell-singing along to Beca’s mixtape, both almost crying happy tears as they thought of their time as Bellas.

The gentle notes of a new song filtered through the car radio and Emily leapt forward, quickly changing the track to the next one. Beca furrowed her eyebrows and gave Emily a confused look, moving to flip the song back before Emily swatted her hand away.

“Dude, why’d you skip that one?” Beca asked. Emily was trying her best not to blush. When she had given Jessica her songs, she hadn’t planned on going with Beca yet. Therefore, she had not anticipated being in the car with Beca to listen to it and had, in a stroke of courage, decided to put a song on it that would tell Beca more about how Emily felt about her.

“Um, no reason, just thought we should listen to a different one,” Emily said, waving her hand around dismissively. 

“Emily,” Beca said wryly. 

“Alright fine! We can listen to it,” Emily relented, backing up to the song. When the song started, Beca perked up, dancing a little in her seat.

“I know this song,” she said. “It’s Symphony! With Zara what’s her name, right? Who put this one on?”

“Um,” Emily said, blushing and looking anywhere but Beca. “I did.”

“Hmm,” Beca said in acknowledgement. When Emily chanced a glance at her, Beca was focused on the road, but there was a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she bobbed her head along to the song. “It’s a good song.”

“Yup!” Emily said stiffly and too eagerly. She chastised herself internally for being such an awkward mess around Beca. _What was she thinking?_

“Hey Emily?” Beca asked, suddenly serious. “Can I ask you something?”

Emily felt the nervous energy sitting in the pit of her stomach flare up like a hot air balloon. She drummed a nervous pattern across her knee and stared straight ahead. 

“Yeah, okay,” Emily said timidly, feeling the butterflies dancing in her stomach. The moment felt charged and electric and she peeked at Beca, who looked nervous and determined and so perfect.

“I just-” Beca began to say before there was a loud thump under the car. Beca swore and turned the steering wheel, pulling onto the shoulder and hopping out of the car. They were on a long stretch of roadway running through the deserts of Arizona, nothing to see for miles but mesas, bushes, and rich coloured dirt.

“Fuck!” Beca swore as she inspected the back of the car. She grumbled and kicked at the pavement in frustration. “We lost a tire. Must’ve driven over something sharp on the road.”

Emily stepped out of the car as well, pulling herself up to sit on the hood.

“Should we call AAA or something?” Emily asked, digging into her pocket for her phone. Beca was already searching through the trunk and shifting things around to get at the well of the car. 

“Nah, it’s cool,” she called from the back. “I know how to change a tire.”

“Really?” Emily said in wonder. She slid off the hood and joined Beca at the trunk.

“Yeah, my dad taught me one summer as like a bonding activity or something,” Beca said absently. “We have to take all this crap out of the trunk so I can get the spare out though.

The girls spent the next half hour rearranging everything in the car, stacking the bags and fragile boxes in the front seat so they would be out of the way. Emily made a little tower of the non-fragile boxes so she could sit on them to watch Beca work. 

“Are you sure you don’t want help?” Emily asked as she watched Beca in concern.

“Have you ever changed a tire?” Beca asked rhetorically. She grunted as she hefted the spare tire out of the well of the trunk, settling it down on the pavement. She swiped the back of her hand across her forehead and shrugged off her plaid shirt to tie it around her waist, leaving her in a white tank top.

“Are you sure? I feel bad just sitting here and watching you do all the work,” Emily pouted.

“Nah, enjoy your box throne princess,” Beca teased. “But make yourself useful and flick on the parking break and the hazards for me.”

Emily leapt up and did just that, pleased to be helpful, even just for something small. She also flicked on the stereo so they could keep listening to Beca’s CD while Beca worked away at the tire. When Emily returned to her box throne, Beca was knelt by the back tire pumping the jack to lift the rear of the car.

There was a bead of sweat running down the back of Beca’s neck, and Emily pretended not to notice how her mouth went dry at watching Beca at work. She plopped back down onto her box, deliberately trying not to focus on the girl in front of her.

After she got the car up she started to take off the hubcaps and the nuts that held the wheel onto the car. She was having a little trouble loosening them, and when she leaned her full body weight into it, it came loose suddenly and she fell back on her butt. Emily giggled, but quickly feigned innocence when Beca levelled her with a glare.

“I could just leave it on there and we could die out here if you wanted,” Beca said idly while she loosened the rest of the nuts on the tire. “I bet a cougar would love turning us into snacks.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Emily protested, trying not to giggle again.

“Right,” Beca drawled, shooting Emily her classic wry look. After that she went back to work. Emily sang along to the radio absently while she watched Beca work, trying and failing to remain calm. 

At one point, Beca huffed out a sigh and rubbed her hand across her face, smudging grease across her cheek and forehead. Emily’s heart had jumped at that, melting at how adorable Beca looked. Like a scrappy little mechanic. The Arizona heat was beating down on them and Emily eventually dug a hat out from a box to fan herself with. She didn’t know how Beca was working away in this temperature. She was practically melting just watching her. 

“Em, can you grab me a water?” Beca asked as she hefted the spare tire onto the hub. Emily saluted her and dug into their little cooler, pulling out a cold water bottle and tossing it to Beca. Beca stood and tipped her head back as she drank greedily at the liquid, her neck and chest glistening in sweat.

_Oh. My. Stars._

Emily let out a strangled squeak and drummed her fingers rapidly against her knee, trying and failing to look away from Beca. How was this doing it for her? Beca was changing a tire for god’s sake. Changing a tire on their car in the hot Arizona sunshine and looking all greased up in a tank top and it was doing things to Emily that were not convenient in any way.

Once Beca had downed the whole bottle she capped it and chucked it back at Emily. Emily fumbled but caught it and Beca went back to work tightening the spare tire onto the hub. Once it was finished off, Beca released the car from the jack and tossed it and the flat tire back in the trunk.

“Alright princess, off your throne,” Beca ordered. “We have to get all this crap packed up again so we can get to Flagstaff and get a new tire.”

Once they had rearranged the whole car again, they were back on the road. Beca cranked the air conditioning and groaned happily at the cool air. Emily deliberately ignored how her cheeks heated up at the sound and focused instead on finding an auto body shop on her phone.

“If you take the next exit there’s a shop there,” Emily explained.

Beca nodded and turned off the road, driving down another smaller road until they entered a small town. It didn’t take them long to find the mechanic and they hopped out of the car, digging through the trunk again to get the flat tire.

“Hey ladies!” A man called as he came out of the garage, throwing a greasy towel over his shoulder. He looked to be in his forties, with greying hair and a kind smile. “The name’s Paul. How can I help you?”

“Got a flat about 20 minutes out and I popped the spare on,” Beca explained. “Are you going to be able to repair it?”

Paul took the tire and inspected the hole in it, before smiling and nodding to Beca. He hefted the tire up under his arm and moved into his shop. He put the tire up on his work table and began working on the patch while Emily and Beca popped up onto the hood of the car to wait.

Beca leaned back on the windshield and pillowed her head on her hands. Emily followed her lead and leaned back, looking up at the pale blue sky.

“Are you feeling better?” Beca asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“What do you mean?” Emily asked, turning on her side to face her. Beca gave her a quirky grin and shrugged before angling her eyes back up to the sky.

“You were doubting yourself when you shouldn’t,” Beca said softly. Emily was quiet, willing to let Beca finish. This was one of the rare times that Beca was less guarded about emotions. “I’m glad you came along for the ride. It’s like I got to take a piece of home along with me." 

“Beca,” Emily said softly. Beca merely shrugged, so Emily smiled and scooted closer to Beca, giving her bicep a reassuring squeeze. Beca looked over to her and smiled, their faces inches apart. Emily’s lips parted as she let out a whisper of a sigh. Beca’s stormy eyes filled her with a warmth that bubbled up from her belly until it made her fingers and toes tingle.

“Em,” Beca said, just as softly, her smile dropping as her face turned serious and unsure. Emily swallowed thickly and took a chance, angling her head down so her nose brushed against Beca’s. Beca let out a quivering breath, hot air against Emily’s lips, mere centimetres away.

“So how long have you two been together?” Paul asked, cleaning his hands on the towel as he walked back up to them. Emily and Beca sprang apart and leapt off the hood of the car, shuffling their feet awkwardly.

“I-” Beca started, blushing.

“We’re not-” Emily continued, also red.

“Um-” Beca tried again, scratching at the back of her neck as Paul laughed merrily.

“My mistake ladies,” he said with a smile. “That tire of yours is ready to go. I can switch it back out for you if you want.”

Ten minutes later, they were paying and hopping back into the car, waving goodbye to Paul as they headed in the direction of the road again. The car was filled with a thick silent tension, and Emily shifted around in her seat, feeling as if she were going to burst. She wanted to break the silence, but Beca beat her to it. 

“That was…” She began. “…crazy.”

“Yep!” Emily agreed awkwardly. “Super crazy. I mean, me and you? Ha, crazy. Yep.”

“Crazy,” Beca agreed again before they fell back into their charged silence. Emily blew out a breath, bobbing her head awkwardly as she tried to think of something else to stay instead of considering the possibility of her tucking and rolling out of the car to escape this moment.

“We’ll be in Flagstaff soon,” Beca said after a few moments.

“Cool,” Emily said, just as awkwardly. _Oh god,_ she thought. _Why was this so awkward?_

Emily flicked on the radio again just so they had something else to focus on other than their own social ineptitude. She thought about saying something. About being brave and confrontational and admitting how she felt. And then remembered that this was Beca. Beautiful, charming, Beca, and what were the odds that she’d return Emily’s feelings?

Emily was saved from spiralling into her thoughts again when Beca’s phone began to ring. Emily grabbed it from the cup holder and was surprised to see it was Chloe facetiming them. With an affirmative nod from Beca, Emily answered the call, angling herself so Chloe could see Beca driving in the background as well.

“Hey Chlo,” Beca greeted.

“Hi guys!! How is LA? Is it beautiful and hot and sunny?” Chloe asked. “Are you guys going out somewhere?”

“Oh! Uh, no, we’re in Arizona!” Emily said sheepishly. “We’re still a way out from LA.”

“Arizona?! You guys were supposed to get to LA yesterday!” Chloe said in astonishment. “What happened?”

“Emily manipulated me into turning this into a real cross-country road trip,” Beca explained in a teasing voice. “We’ve been making stops daily to see different things. We went to the zoo in OK City yesterday.”

“I got to feed a giraffe!” Emily said happily. “And the zookeeper let Beca play with the red pandas.”

“Sounds like you two are having a lot of fun!” Chloe said happily. “Let me know when you get to LA, behave yourselves, love you both! Mwah!”

After blowing them a kiss, Chloe signed off and Emily put Beca’s phone back in the cup holder. They were almost in Flagstaff, and Emily couldn’t wait to get some dinner in her.

“You know, I have a friend who’s wanted in Flagstaff,” Emily said idly. At that, Beca looked up.

“I’m sorry, what? Wanted? Like wild west style?” she asked incredulously. 

“Yeah sort of,” Emily giggled. “She got a parking ticket but didn’t think it was legit and it was the end of her vacation, so she just went back home. Now every so often like the Flagstaff court tries to call her up to get her to come pay her ticket. She just blocked the number and tells everyone she’s wanted in Flagstaff.”  

“That sounds like something Amy would do,” Beca chuckled. Emily giggled and sighed, happy her and Beca had gotten past their weird awkward moment. She leaned back in her seat and laid her head back, looking at Beca in adoration. It took a while, but eventually Beca noticed Emily’s staring.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Beca asked with a fond smile. Emily blushed and looked down before looking back up at Beca.

“I’m just happy,” Emily said with a stupid grin on her face. Beca smiled and dropped her hand between them, palm up in a clear invitation. Emily smiled and linked their fingers, giving Beca’s hand a squeeze as she turned her eyes back to the road.

* * *

Two hours later, they finally arrived in Flagstaff. The sun was beginning to go down now, and the two decided to drop off their stuff at the hotel before they went in search of food.

“Man,” Beca said as the pulled off the highway. “I am starved.”

“Me too,” Emily agreed. “That flat tire really put us off schedule.”

“What do you feel like having for dinner?” Beca asked, pulling into the hotel parking lot.

“I don’t know, I’m not that picky,” Emily said. “But I don’t really feel like sitting in a restaurant for hours.”

“Do you want to just order a pizza to the room?” Beca suggested. Emily perked up at that.

“Yeah! We can eat pizza in bed and watch TV,” Emily said in excitement.

“If you get crumbs in the bed, I’ll kill you,” Beca warned, only partially sounding like she was joking.

After checking in, Emily lounged on the bed on her stomach, flicking through TV channels while Beca spoke to the pizza place on the phone. She was scribbling away at a notepad while she spoke, jotting down the price and what they had ordered. After hanging up the phone she joined Emily in bed, laying across it widthwise so she could rest her head on Emily’s back while she scrolled through her phone. 

Half an hour later, the pizza had arrived and they were lounged on the bed eating while Emily continued to try to find something suitable to watch on TV.

“There’s nothing good on TV,” Emily grumbled as she flicked through channels faster and faster. 

“When will you learn that there’s never anything good on TV?” Beca asked. Emily was about to offer a sarcastic reply when her phone buzzed. She dropped the TV remote and unlocked her phone, pulling up her messages.

 **Mom: Hey bug! Can** **’** **t wait to see you tomorrow! Make sure to go to the airport early so you don** **’** **t miss your flight!**

“Oh, no no no no no,” Emily mumbled. “Oh crap!”

Emily sat up suddenly, Beca sliding off her and landing on the bed with an ‘oomph’ and a glare. When she saw Emily’s agitated look, she sat up to, placing a comforting hand on her knee and moving the pizza box to the side table.

“Hey what’s wrong kid?” Beca asked.

“I completely forgot to tell my mom that I was running away to LA with you! I’ve got a flight booked home tomorrow afternoon! I was supposed to spend a couple weeks with her before going back to Atlanta to find an apartment,” Emily said dramatically. “That I can cancel from my phone, but the last few days have been so crazy and unreal I can’t believe I never told my mom.”

“Hey, easy,” Beca soothed, giving Emily’s knee a squeeze. “Just give her a call now.”

“Oh god,” Emily mumbled as she thumbed the call button. “She’s going to kill me.”

The phone rang three times before her mom was picking up.

“Emily! Hey honey, is everything all set for your flight tomorrow?” her mom asked.

“Um, hey mom, about that…” Emily trailed off. Beca gave her knee another reassuring squeeze, not knowing what was going on in the conversation, but wanting to be there for her anyway.

“What’s wrong Emily?” her mom questioned in that mom tone of hers.

“So, funny story really, I know you’re going to laugh,” Emily stalled.

“Emily,” her mother said sternly.

“I’m in Arizona!” Emily squeaked. There was silence on the other end for a moment.

“Arizona,” her mother said, scarily calm. “Why are you in Arizona?”

“Well, I’m moving to LA?” Emily said, more of a question.

“ _Emily Abigail Junk!_ ” her mother berated. “Why are you just telling me this now?! LA?! You can’t move to LA, how are you going to afford that? You just graduated and you don’t have a job, you don’t even have an apartment in LA! What are you thinking! I want you to turn yourself around and get back here right this instant!”

“Mom,” Emily tried to get a word in edgewise, already starting to tear up. She hated when people yelled at her, especially her mom, and even more so when she knew she deserved it. “Mom, I’m sorry!”

“Emily,” her mom said, sounding tired. “This just isn’t like you, this is so irresponsible.”

Beca was nudging at her knee and Emily turned to face her, holding her hand over the receiver so she could talk to Beca without her mom hearing. She could still faintly hear her mom’s voice floating through the phone as she ranted at Emily.

“Let me talk to her,” Beca said.

“What?” Emily asked, dumfounded. “Why?”

“Just give me the phone,” Beca said, rolling her eyes and reaching for it. Emily handed it over and Beca brought it up to her ear. “Hi, Mrs. Junk? It’s Beca.”

Emily sat quietly waiting as Beca chatted away with her mom. She wasn’t exactly sure what Beca’s plan was here, but she was willing to trust her.

“Yes, ma’am,” Beca said. “Yeah, don’t worry. No of course. I promise I’ll look after her. Yes, I know. Yes, okay. I’ll let her know. Alright. Okay, bye now.”

Beca hung up the phone and tossed it back into Emily’s lap, settling down in bed again.

“She said she loves you and to get a good night’s sleep,” Beca informed Emily, who was still holding her phone and feeling very confused. Beca looked up and noticed Emily staring at her and titled her head in confusion. “What?”

“What the heck was that?” Emily said incredulously. “What did she say, how is okay with this now?”

“Don’t you worry, that’s between me and your mom,” Beca said with a sneaky smile. Emily rolled her eyes and flopped down in bed next to Beca.

“Well, whatever you did, thank you,” Emily said.

“Anything for you,” Beca said absently, scrolling through her phone again. The butterflies in Emily’s stomach fluttered again at Beca’s words. “Anyway, we should get ready for bed now, we’ve got another day ahead of us tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, good idea,” Emily agreed. Beca slid out of bed and moved into the bathroom to get changed while Emily pulled on her pyjamas and hopped back into bed, snuggling up under the covers in the center of the bed.

When Beca returned, she flicked off the lights and slid under to covers on the opposite side of the bed. She yawned and rolled over to face away from Emily, settling down into her pillow. Emily frowned at how far away Beca was and reached out to tug at the back of her shirt.

“Hey,” Emily pouted, giving Beca’s shirt another little tug. Beca rolled over to face Emily, trying to bite back a smile.

“Can I help you?” she asked, an eyebrow quirked in amusement.

“You’re so far away,” Emily pouted. Beca held firm in her distance, no longer able to hold back her smile as Emily got poutier. Eventually Beca gave in with a chuckle and rolled over, scooting over to Emily so the taller girl could wrap her up in her arms as the little spoon. Emily pressed her face into Beca’s hair and made a pleased noise, giving Beca a gentle squeeze around her middle.

“Goodnight, Em,” Beca said fondly.

“Night Beca,” Emily said softly, yawning as she let the exhaustion of the day wash over her. When Beca’s breath evened out and Emily was sure she was asleep, she pulled Beca closer and mumbled against her shoulder before letting sleep take her under as well.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, the Spotify playlist will be up and linked asap!


	10. Dear Desperado

Beca woke the next morning wrapped in Emily’s arms still. It was the most agonizing mix of bliss and torture. Bliss because she’d never felt so safe or at home as she did when she woke up next to Emily. Torture because this was the last morning she would be able to do this. They would be in LA within a day, and then Beca would say goodbye.

Laying there in bed, she took a minute to herself before waking Emily. She thought about all her years as a Bella. She thought about how much she had hated it at first. She never realized how much the Bellas meant to her until they were taken away from her by her own pigheadedness. Thank god they had taken her back. She didn’t know where she’d be right now if they hadn’t.

She hadn’t thought the Bellas could get any better, until Emily came into the picture. A sweet, awkward, fumbling little ball of joy that practically fell into their lives. She had been a little frustrated at first that the girls had let a new member join without even telling her, but that all stopped when she met Emily. How could anyone hate the human version of sunshine? Beca felt bad that Emily’s first year in the Bellas had been such a shit storm, but the freshman had stayed almost annoyingly optimistic and they had come out of it world champions.

It was strange to think that their story was coming to a close. Not forever of course, but enough that it made Beca feel the distance that she was beginning to put between them. She could feel her walls slowly building up again to protect herself from losing Emily. There was always some part of her that thought they would all stay in Atlanta and be a family forever; but of course, that wasn’t always how the real world worked.

She had known Emily for four years now. In the grand scheme of things, that was no time at all; but to Beca, it felt like an eternity. Something about Emily just clicked, and everything shifted and slid into the right places like puzzle pieces. Like running away to LA. Like making music. Like adventures and falling in love and every beautiful disaster.

Emily was like a song Beca couldn’t quite figure out. A complex mix that she couldn’t quite understand, and she loved the discovery.

She guessed she would just never get the timing right.

She pushed the thought aside and gently nudged Emily until she woke up, yawning sleepily.

“Good morning, Beca,” Emily slurred as she hugged Beca close, stroking fingers loosely through her hair. Beca stiffened at the intimate embrace and shrugged out of it quickly, sliding out of bed and standing up.

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked, sitting up and scrubbing at her eyes tiredly as she tried to chase after Beca with an outstretched hand.

“Nothing,” Beca said quickly. “I’m fine.”

Emily tilted her head and gave Beca a confused look, looking her up and down.

“Are you sure?” Emily asked. “You seem kind of…off.”

“I said I’m fine,” Beca said tersely. “Maybe you could get out of bed and get ready to leave.”

“No need to be rude,” Emily chastised with narrowed eyes. “I only ask because I care about you. You don’t need to bite my head off.”

_I care about you. I care about you. I care about you._

The thought echoed in Beca’s mind and she felt her throat stuff up like it did right before she started crying. She shook herself out of her stupor and grabbed her clothes for the day, moving to the bathroom to get changed. She splashed some cold water on her face and sat down on the rim of the bathtub with her head in her hands.

“Don’t do this to yourself Beca,” Beca said quietly. “Just get in the car and get to LA and get over it.” 

She took a deep breath and regarded herself in the mirror. She was still the same tiny rage monster she had always been. So what was going on with her? She sighed and opened the bathroom door to find Emily leaning against the wall just outside of the bathroom. Beca nearly squeaked in surprise at seeing her so close, but she swallowed the noise and tried to move past Emily.

Emily stuck an arm out and trapped Beca there in the tiny entrance hall of the hotel room. Emily was always taller than her, especially in heels, but standing there in that little alcove by the bathroom, with Emily looking at her the way she was, Beca had never felt smaller.

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked, her voice quiet and soft, almost a whisper. It would almost be soothing if Beca weren’t so goddamn terrified.

“Nothing,” Beca insisted again, wide eyed and frightened by all the things she was feeling.

“Beca please,” Emily tried again. “Talk to me, don’t shut me out.”

“I’m not shutting you out,” Beca said, trying to duck under Emily’s arm. Emily only reached out and grasped Beca’s forearm gently, her hand sliding down until her fingers tangled with Beca’s. Beca looked up to face Emily. Her eyes were warm like melted chocolate, and her hair was still tousled from sleep. Seeing her like this in the gentle morning light made her seem like an angel, all soft edges and tranquility. It took Beca’s breath away.

“Do you trust me?” Emily murmured, watching Beca with an intensity that made her stomach turn.

Beca found herself speechless.  _Yes!_ she wanted to scream, but her mouth couldn’t form the word. She just stared up at Emily like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Do you trust me?” Emily asked again, talking a step forward. Beca took an equal step backwards, bumping into the hallway vanity and bracing her free hand against it to steady herself. Her heart was racing in her chest and she was dizzy from Emily’s proximity.

“Yes,” Beca breathed, wholly transfixed by Emily. The taller girl leaned down, her forehead brushing against Beca’s and her hair tickling Beca’s cheek.

“Don’t be afraid,” Emily murmured, so low Beca almost couldn’t hear it. Emily leaned forward more and braced her own free hand by Beca’s on the vanity.

“I’m not afraid,” Beca insisted, her shaky voice betraying her. The hand that Emily had braced against the table shifted closer to Beca’s, brushing her thumb along the inside of Beca’s wrist and causing the smaller girl to shiver.

“Then close your eyes,” Emily ordered gently. Beca was hesitant, but when the hand that was holding Beca gave her a reassuring squeeze, Beca released a shuddering breath and closed her eyes. It was almost more terrifying with her eyes closed. She could feel Emily close and it was driving her insane and her breath was coming in shaky pants that made her body quiver but at least she couldn’t see those eyes and see the way Emily was looking at her.

She felt Emily’s breath ghost over her lips and she almost cried out in surprise. She was so fucking close and Beca thought if she waited even one more second, she would die. Everything else was gone and there was only Emily and her head was spinning and her heart was racing until her cellphone ringtone blared through the silent space and made her heart leap up into her throat. She jumped back away from Emily as much as she could, slamming into the vanity and squeaking in surprise.

Her eyes flew open and in the millisecond of clarity she had, she thought Emily looked rather annoyed. Beca stumbled away from Emily and grabbed her phone, checking the caller ID and seeing Chloe’s smiling face looking back at her.

“I uh, I have to go,” Beca faltered. “Not go-you know what I mean, phone, I have to go take this call. Yes. I’m going to do that. I’ll meet you at the car in a few minutes.”

With that train wreck out of the way, Beca grabbed her bag and bolted from the room. She answered her still ringing phone and suppressed the urge to cry out in frustration.

“You soulless ginger,” Beca growled into the phone, running at hand through her hair and tugging at it in annoyance.

“I knew I should’ve waited a while in case you were just waking up, you’re always such a bear in the morning,” Chloe chuckled.

“I was already awake,” Beca said, her voice strained as she rode the elevator down to the lobby.

“What’s wrong Becs?” Chloe asked, sounding like the concerned mama hen that she was.

“Nothing,” Beca growled, stepping out of the elevator and moving to the front desk to give the clerk the room keys and check out.

“Rebeca Mitchell, don’t you start with me,” Chloe said sternly. Beca stood her ground before crumbling a moment later.

“Emily and I almost kissed,” she said all in a rush.

_“WHAT?!”_ Chloe squealed into the phone. “Oh my _god_! I knew it! You two are so cute, O-M-aca-G!”

“Wait,” Beca said. “You ‘knew’ it? Knew what? There’s nothing to know!”

“I knew that you two would make the cutest couple!” Chloe insisted. “Come on Beca, look at the facts. You do literally anything for her, you can’t say no to her, you even watch movies for her!”

“So what, we’re just friends,” Beca insisted weakly.

“Friends my ass,” Chloe muttered. “Whatever. Look, just don’t throw away this opportunity if it’s what you want okay? Don’t let being stubborn steal this from you.”

“Chloe,” Beca whined, not knowing what else to say.

“Look Beca,” Chloe started. “I know it’s scary and I know you don’t really like dealing with emotions and stuff, but it’s okay to be afraid. Just don’t be too afraid to be brave.”

“I,” Beca said. She leaned up against the car and turned, noticing Emily leaving the hotel with her bag slung over her shoulder. She looked gorgeous in the Arizona sunshine. “Look I’ll think about it okay? I have to go now. Love you.”

“Love you too, Beca,” Chloe said before hanging up. Beca slid her phone into her pocket and flicked her sunglasses down, trying to regain her composure. Emily still looked mildly frustrated when she joined Beca and chucked her bag into the back seat, but she still gave her a bright smile. 

“Ready to go?” Emily asked, sliding into the passenger seat while Beca hopped in the car and started it.

“Yup!” Beca squeaked. _Fuck me_ , she thought. _Get a grip!_ She peeked at Emily to see her looking out the window, shades on and a slight grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. Beca’s lips twisted into a scowl. _Smug little shit_.

“So we’ll be in LA soon,” Emily said idly. If Beca really searched for it, she was sure she could hear a hint of nervousness in her voice.

“Yep,” Beca replied, bobbing her head, before she realized she probably looked like a chicken and stopped.

“Kind of sucks that this whole road trip is coming to an end, huh?” Emily said, a fond smile on her face. She leaned her head back against her headrest and lolled it sideways so she could look at Beca from behind her sunglasses. “It was fun.”

“Yeah, it was a lot of fun,” Beca said honestly, a little surprised by how much she would miss being on the road now that she was thinking about it. Emily reached up and gently brushed her fingers along Beca’s forearm. Beca took the hint and dropped her hand from the wheel, letting Emily link their fingers.

“I’m going to miss this,” Emily said absently, sighing heavily but smiling still. “You must be excited to settle into your new place though.”

“I guess so,” Beca said, frowning suddenly. She didn’t want this to be over yet. Not by a long shot. She looked over to the road signs that flicked by them as they drove down the highway, and in a split-second decision, she took one of the exits.

“Hey,” Beca said quickly, turning off the highway. “Let’s go to Phoenix. They have this really cool garden there with all these crazy desert plants and you can buy cacti from there and I just really think that we should get cacti.”

Beca realized after she said it how weak it sounded. Cacti? This was Arizona. They could get cacti anywhere. Hell, they could walk into any Lowe’s garden centre across the damn country and buy a potted cactus. What a dumb excuse.

Beca waited for Emily to point out this exact fact, but she only smiled and gave Beca’s hand a squeeze.

“Cacti, huh?” Emily asked, her smile growing even bigger and goofier. “I’d be into getting a cactus.”

Beca tried not to smile at that, but she couldn’t help herself. Being with Emily felt like that scene from the Grinch where his heart grows three sizes. Beca hated that that was what she was comparing it to, and Jesse would have teased her about using a movie reference, but it was accurate.

Being with Emily just made her heart sing.

* * *

The Desert Botanical Garden was just as crazy as Beca had promised it was. Beca had never seen so many differently shaped cacti. She’d only vaguely heard about this place one time Chloe had mentioned it, and coming was more of an excuse to extend the trip, but she had to admit that it was incredible. Emily was tugging her around to look at all the different glass sculptures scattered throughout the gardens, oohing and awing at each one.

“Oh, Beca look,” Emily cooed, picking up a tiny little cactus in a terracotta pot. “It’s just like you.”

“Shut your mouth,” Beca grumbled, trying not to blush. Emily smiled proudly and strode purposefully towards the cash.

“This is the one I want,” Emily announced, before looking to her left and stopping. “Oh, also this one. And this one. Beca they have succulents too!”

Not even five minutes later, Emily’s arms were full of little potted plants. She was smiling brightly at Beca, wiggling in excitement as they stood in line for the cash.

“Dude, that is like a lot of plants,” Beca said, eyeing Emily’s armful. “Where are you even going to put them all?”

“I’ll find somewhere for them,” Emily responded, sticking her tongue out at Beca. She shifted to hand Beca the tiny one she had originally picked up. “Here, hold Beca Jr, I don’t want to drop her.”

“Really?” Beca drawled, begrudgingly taking the plant. “You’re naming a cactus after me because it’s small?”

“No,” Emily said with a goofy smile. “Because it’s adorable and I love it.”

“Oh,” Beca said, fighting back another blush. She’d never been jealous of turtles before, but at that moment she would love to just crawl into a shell and hide. After they paid for the cacti, they carefully loaded them into the backseat where they would slide around while they were driving.

“I’m starving man, I totally forgot about breakfast. Want to grab some lunch?” Beca asked once they were ready to leave.

“Well, if someone hadn’t run off this morning then we could have gotten breakfast,” Emily teased idly.

“Whatever,” Beca grumbled, sinking into her chair to pout. “Why don’t we get something simple? Like a chip truck or something.”

“Yeah, I think we passed one on the way here,” Emily said, mapping it on her phone. “Yep! Just ten minutes from here.”

The drive was quick and filled with Emily raving about all her new plants. _We’re never going to find places for all of those in the apartment_ , Beca thought wryly before realizing what she was thinking. _Woah, pump the brakes_. It didn’t matter how many plants Emily got, because they would be going in _Emily’s_ apartment, Beca reminded herself.

They ordered hamburgers and fries and sat on the hood of the car, soaking up the Arizona sunshine. It was peaceful and perfect and the food was actually really good. Beca didn’t think she’d ever had better French fries in her life. Once they finished eating, they just lounged out on the car for a while to digest and enjoy the warmth.

“Mm,” Emily moaned as she stretched out languidly. “Maybe we made the wrong choice with LA, Becs. I’m really digging Arizona.”

Beca was quiet for a moment before responding.

“Well,” she started. “We’re here, we could always find you a place. You don’t have to go to LA.”

Emily’s smile dropped and she looked up at the sky thoughtfully. She turned on her side on the hood of the car and flicked her sunglasses up, studying Beca’s face. Beca’s heart leapt into her throat as thoughts of the auto shop and this morning flashed through her mind; Emily so close and intoxicating. Emily’s lips slowly curved into a soft smile and she looked down shyly.

“No,” she said simply. “LA is good.”

Beca smiled as well before sitting up and sliding off the hood of the car. She turned and offered Emily a smile and a hand, who took it and slid off the hood as well.

“Well?” Beca asked, flashing the keys. “Should we check out what else Phoenix has to offer?”

“Adventure awaits,” Emily replied with a giggle, sliding into the car and cranking the radio. Beca flicked her sunglasses down and held up a hand. Emily grabbed it in her own and returned Beca’s smile with a sunshine one of her own.

“Adventure awaits,” Beca affirmed, kicking the engine to life.

* * *

They ended up staying in Phoenix longer than either of them had anticipated. They had checked out the best shopping areas of the city, the zoo, the historic sites, and had stopped for dinner on the way. It was now nearing 8:30, but Beca was determined to make a little more headway into their trip.

“Are you sure you can drive still?” Emily asked. Beca took another slug of the extra-large coffee in the cup holder, giving Emily a rock and roll gesture with her free hand.

“I’ll be fine I’ve got coffee _and_ red bull,” Beca said with a wicked grin. Emily looked at her in alarm.

“You better not have put the red bull _in_ your coffee, I specifically told you _not_ to do that,” Emily said in exasperation. Beca tried to bite back her smile but couldn’t.

“Amy calls it nitro coffee,” Beca said with a goofy smile. Emily smacked Beca in the shoulder before crossing her arms in frustration.

“Your tiny heart is going to explode,” she sighed, shaking her head.

Beca looked over at Emily, struck again by just how beautiful she was. _If only you knew_ , she thought with a smile.

“Eyes on the road, chief,” Emily said, tilting Beca’s head forward again. “I’m already worried you’re going to kill us.”

“I’m a great driver,” Beca announced, causing Emily to laugh.

“I know Becs, why don’t you just keep driving,” Emily insisted with a smile.

Beca cranked up the radio. The song playing was Take Me Home by Cash Cash, one of her guilty pleasure songs. Beca nodded her head along to the beat, tapping her left foot against the floor in time.

“This song sounds like what nitro coffee tastes like,” Beca announced out of nowhere. Emily snorted.

“Jesus Beca, focus,” Emily said, taking her right hand and giving it a squeeze. “You are all over the place right now.”

Beca was able to calm down for a while and focus on driving, rocking her head along to the beat of whatever song came onto the radio next and singing along in her head since Emily had drifted off beside her. She finished her nitro coffee within the hour, and that kept her heart pounding and her chugging along for about another two hours before she started to feel the caffeine wearing off.

She yawned and slipped her hand out of Emily’s, rubbing at her eyes and shaking her head to get rid of this sudden bout of sleepiness. She blinked rapidly and danced along to the quiet beat of the radio in her seat, humming under her breath and doing anything she could to stay awake.

A quick glance at the clock told her it was 12:24 am. She needed more nitro coffee, but they were currently in the middle of Joshua Tree National Park, having just crossed into California. She bit her tongue and kept humming, but eventually her humming petered out and her eyes began to slip closed. Her head drooped and the car drifted a little bit to the left before Beca shot up in alarm and jerked back into her lane. Emily jumped awake beside her, clutching at Beca’s leg in surprise.

“Nope nope nope,” Beca chanted as she pulled off the road as soon as possible, driving deeper into the park. “Noooooooope.”

“Becs, Christ, are you okay?” Emily said, her voice thick from sleep, but concerned and alarmed.

“Yep, I’m fine, everything is fine we just really need to stop driving for a bit,” Beca said, pulling into an empty parking lot overlooking the valley below. She parked and stepped out of the car, the cool night air refreshing her immediately. 

“For a bit?” Emily said skeptically as she joined Beca on the hood. “I don’t think we should be driving at all for the rest of the night.”

“We’ll see, just give me a bit,” Beca said, leaning back against the windshield and closing her eyes.

“If you say so,” Emily mumbled, sounding wholly unconvinced. She leaned back as well, settling next to Beca.

They stayed like that for a while before Beca opened her eyes again to stare up at the sky. It was a deep inky blue and the stars were scattered across the sky like a trillion tiny lights. Beca had never seen so many stars in her life.

“It’s beautiful,” she said softly.

“Mm?” Emily mumbled sleepily.

“The stars,” Beca clarified. “There’s so many of them but they all have a place up there. They all belong, you know? I don’t know where I belong.”

“You belong too,” Emily said, more awake now as she blinked lazily up at Beca, who propped herself up on an elbow so she could face her.

“Oh yeah?” Beca asked, feeling her heart clench uncomfortably. “How do you figure? I didn’t belong in Atlanta, I didn’t belong being a music producer, I barely belong in the Bellas most days. What if I don’t belong in LA either?”

“You do,” Emily insisted. She lazily snaked her arms around Beca’s neck and pulled her down so she was half leaning over Emily. Beca swallowed her gasp and let out a quivering breath. Emily tilted her chin up to brush her nose again Beca’s gently. “You belong right here, with me.”

Beca looked down at Emily, only illuminated by the pale moonlight they basked in. Her eyes were closed and her hands gripped onto Beca’s shirt around her shoulders, holding her tight. Maybe Emily was right. Beca had never felt more at home than she did with Emily. Memories from the past few days flashed through her mind’s eye. Graceland, feeding the animals at the zoo, waking up to Emily’s beautiful smile, getting lost, breaking down and changing a tire, exploring Phoenix together. If she looked up, she could see the array of little plants sitting in the backseat, waiting to be given a new home.

Maybe Emily was right.

Emily’s eyes fluttered open, and they caught Beca again, just like always. Emily sighed beneath Beca and gave her a sweet smile.

“You do,” she repeated gently. “You belong.”

She took the hand that wasn’t propping Beca up on the car hood and placed it over her heart.

“You belong right here,” she said softly. Beca could feel Emily’s heart thudding away in her chest, and it was the only beat Beca wanted to mix to for the rest of her life.

Maybe Emily was right. Maybe Beca did belong with her. The thought made her heart warm and her stomach erupt into butterflies. 

So Beca leaned down and kissed her.


	11. But I Don't Wanna Be Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow you guys, I can't believe this is finally the end of this story. It's been such a blast writing it, and I hope I did this perfect pairing justice. I'm literally Bemily trash. I hope you guys are satisfied with the end, and that you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Next up is Bemily Week so watch out for that!
> 
> Also I realized that I literally said last night that I would be taking a break from this to write other stuff haha jk here it is.

Beca’s first thought while kissing Emily was _wow, why haven’t I been doing this for the past four years?_

Immediately followed by _oh fuck_.

Beca’s eyes shot open and she scrambled back and off Emily. Emily just seemed confused, immediately chasing after Beca’s lips and then blinking her eyes open dazedly. Beca ran her hands through her hair in agitation, her cheeks red and her breaths coming in pants.

“Beca, hey,” Emily said, reaching out for the smaller girl. Beca squeaked and tried to scoot out of Emily’s reach, almost falling off the car.

“Oh, Jesus Em,” Beca rambled. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that I don’t know what came over me I am so fucking sorry.”

“Beca-” Emily started to say, looking very unimpressed.

 _Oh god, she’s mad at me,_ Beca thought in a panic, _she hates me_. Beca scrambled backwards, scooting up the windshield and onto the roof of the car.

“I’m so sorry, I would take it back if I could, I didn’t mean to do that,” Beca apologized profusely. “Please don’t hate me, oh _god_ this is going to ruin our friendship what was I thinking?!”

Beca cast another look down to Emily, who looked more upset than ever. Beca was making this worse! What the hell was she supposed to say? How did you fix a situation where you basically just jumped on your friend and admitted that you’re super gay for her?

“Beca,” Emily said, eerily calm, despite her deep frown. “Get off the roof. Come back down here so we can talk. You’re not allowed to just clam up and shut me out. Not about this.”  

“I-” Beca said, before falling silent. She sat down and slowly slid down the windshield until she was sitting next to Emily again. Emily laid back down and stared at Beca expectantly until she did the same. Beca’s heart was in her throat, beating like a bass drum on steroids.

Emily took in a deep breath and looked up at the sky. She reached down between them and took Beca’s hand in her own, easing some of Beca’s nerves. Emily still wasn’t saying anything about the kiss though, and it was freaking her out and making her panic even more.

“Would you really take it back if you could?” Emily asked softly, still staring at the stars.

“What?” Beca asked, dumbfounded.

“Do you want to take it back?” Emily asked again.

“I-” Beca tried.

“Because I don’t want you to,” Emily said, finally looking at Beca. Beca’s breath caught in her throat and Emily smiled at her, making Beca’s heart explode again. When Beca didn’t say anything, Emily rolled onto her side and pulled Beca close, nuzzling her nose softly against hers once more.

“Emily,” Beca said, at a loss for any other words.

“Try again,” Emily whispered with a gentle smile.

Beca’s body was shaking like a leaf, but she tentatively placed a hand on Emily’s hip, gripping at her shirt. She let out a shaky breath and moved forward again, claiming Emily’s lips once more. Emily giggled into the kiss and wrapped an arm around Beca’s neck, playing with the little hairs at the base of her scalp. Beca sighed and was immediately filled with the same warmth from earlier. It pooled in her stomach and spread throughout her limbs, making her feel languid and boneless. She found herself smiling into the kiss before breaking apart to start laughing into Emily’s neck, holding her close and gripping tightly at her shirt.

“Why are you laughing?” Emily asked, giggling away as well. She was holding onto Beca just as tight.

“I’m so fucking happy,” Beca cried out, on the verge of tears. She couldn’t believe this was finally happening. She couldn’t believe that she could feel the way she was feeling right now. She couldn’t stop the laughs from spilling from her mouth again and again as she pulled back and kissed Emily for a third time.

She was smiling so hard her face hurt and she just couldn’t stop. She felt like she was back in that abandoned pool in freshman year, discovering a new sound with the Bellas, only this time she was discovering a new sound with Emily. Every kiss they shared was another note in the melody they were writing.

When had Emily turned her into such a sap?

Eventually Emily pulled away and nuzzled her face into Beca’s hair, giggling softly every so often. Beca held her close and closed her eyes, sighing happily into Emily’s shoulder as they laid out under the stars. 

“You don’t even know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Emily said, smiling so brightly it was as if Beca had caught her own personal sunshine.

“I didn’t even know how long I wanted to do that until I was doing it,” Beca admitted, chuckling again. She yawned briefly before snuggling more into Emily’s chest. “You’re so perfect.” 

“The feeling is mutual,” Emily chuckled.

Beca wasn’t sure how long they laid there on the hood of the car, kissing and watching the sky sparkle. All she knew was that Emily was right, and she was right where she belonged.

* * *

 The next morning, Beca woke up with a groan and a sore neck. She tried to sit up, but found out she couldn’t with Emily’s arm and leg draped over her own. She smiled again as the memories of last night came rushing back. She shook her head and sighed, laying back against the windshield and laughing. Her laughter woke Emily, and she propped herself up awkwardly, looking at Beca with the softest expression. Beca propped herself up on her elbows and gave Emily a sweet kiss, smiling against her lips.

“Good morning beautiful,” Beca said happily.

“Morning,” Emily said, blushing slightly. Beca’s phone, which was almost dead at this point, read 10:54 am. Emily yawned and slid her bare leg along Beca’s where it was hooked over Beca’s hip. Beca winced and sat up abruptly, looking down at her leg.

“Are you fucking serious,” she asked deadpan. They had fallen asleep with Emily’s leg over one of Beca’s and woken up after hours of broad daylight. Broad daylight on Beca’s very pale skin. When Emily moved her leg off Beca’s, it became clear that the place Emily’s leg had been was the only non-burnt place on Beca’s right leg. 

“Oh my god,” Emily giggled. “It looks so silly.” 

“My leg looks ridiculous,” Beca grumbled. “This is like when your asshole friends draw on you with sunscreen at the beach.”

Beca shook her head and slid off the car, getting back behind the wheel. Emily, still laughing at Beca, got off the car and into the passenger seat as well. Beca was shaking her head the whole time as Emily laughed away.

“Oh, come on Beca, it’s really funny,” Emily giggled as they left the lookout point and got back onto the main road through the park. Beca’s scowl deepened and she gripped the wheel tighter, torn between being embarrassed by her leg or charmed by Emily’s laughter. Emily leaned over the center console and dropped her head onto Beca’s shoulder, giving her a cheesy grin.

“What if I kiss it better?” Emily asked in a teasing voice. Beca’s knee jerked up and hit the steering wheel and she gripped it tighter to avoid swerving into the other lane.

“I’m _driving_ ,” Beca whined, gently shoving Emily off her. “Don’t distract the driver.”

“It’s not _my_ fault the driver is so pretty and so easy to distract,” Emily said, jokingly indignant. This finally got a chuckle out of Beca and she conceded to Emily’s teasing, turning her head quickly to kiss Emily sweetly. Beca smiled before leaning back into her seat and focusing on the road again. Her cheeks almost hurt from how much she had been smiling over the past 12 hours.

 “What are you thinking about?” Emily asked. Beca dropped a hand from the wheel and Emily immediately took it, brushing her thumb across the back of Beca’s hand.

“You,” Beca said with a soft smile, echoing her sentiment from a few days prior. Emily made a sweet cooing sound and pressed a kiss to the back of Beca’s hand, leaning back with a smile and watching as the park faded away behind them.

It occurred to Beca a few hours later that they hadn’t discussed what their new relationship was. She hadn’t _asked_ Emily to be her girlfriend, but she assumed it was implicit. If they were girlfriends what did that mean? She really didn’t want Emily to leave once they got to LA, but was it too soon to ask her to stay with her if they had only been maybe-girlfriends for a night?

God Beca hated human interaction.

Would it be weird asking Emily to move in with her so soon? Would that seem like they were moving too fast? But then again, it wouldn’t make sense for Emily to live somewhere else if she and Beca would be together all the time anyway. The apartment she was going to be renting only had one bedroom. Were they supposed to get a place with two bedrooms? But if Emily always spent the night with Beca then having a second bedroom would be a waste of money.

“I can hear you overthinking this,” Emily teased. Beca stiffened guiltily before smiling sheepishly.

“I’m not overthinking anything,” Beca tried to argue.

“Then why are you making that grumpy pinched face you make when you’re overthinking things?” Emily pressed.

“Where are you going to live?” Beca blurted out instead. Emily look surprised for a second before shrugging.

“I don’t know, I’ve been looking at a few places online,” she explained. “I’ll look at them when we get there and pick one I guess.”

“I don’t want you to get a place in LA,” Beca said, seemingly unable to shut herself up.

“Maybe you should’ve mentioned that before I came all this way,” Emily chuckled, but there was slight concern in her tone.

“That’s not what I mean,” Beca said, struggling to get the words out. “I don’t want you to get a place in LA because you already have a place. I’m your place.”

Emily blinked at her, waiting for more explanation as Beca hit the steering wheel in frustration.

“I’m not good at this kind of stuff,” Beca said, sounding and feeling like she was in pain. “You said that I belong with you, and I’m trying to say that you belong with me too. And I think if we belong together we should stay together. I want you to live with me.”

“Oh, Beca,” Emily said softly, giving Beca’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I just-you’ve become such a constant in my life, Em. You’re so patient and caring and gentle with me and you make me so happy. Happier than I ever thought I would be,” Beca continued. Now that she had started talking it was like she couldn’t stop. “After my parents’ divorce I never wanted to fall in love with someone because I didn’t want it to end like that, but you make me less scared to love someone, because it means I get to love you.”

“Jesus, Beca,” Emily said, her eyes shining. She leaned over and pulled Beca into a passionate kiss. Beca’s eyes fluttered closed before she realized she was still driving and jerked back to face the road again. Emily giggled at her and placed a soft kiss on Beca’s cheek. 

“I love you,” Beca said again, smiling stupidly to herself.

“I love you too, Becs,” Emily replied, smiling just as brightly as she laid her head on Beca’s shoulder.

They arrived in LA shortly after that, the sun shining and the streets bustling with life. The apartment that they would be living in was in central LA, near enough to downtown and the nightlife for Beca to get a job as a DJ, but also close enough so they could go to the beach and the pier in Santa Monica.

Beca parked the car, and the real estate agent met them at the entrance to the building. She greeted them brightly and led them into the building and up to the seventh floor, chatting the whole way about the building, the neighbourhood, and how much of a gem the place was.

Beca tuned it all out in favour of smiling adoringly at Emily.

The apartment was cozy and furnished, with large windows to let in the bright California sunshine. It was just as nice as it had appeared in the listing, and Emily seemed to love the place too. They sat at the kitchen table to pour over the rental papers and sign the lease, Emily signing her name on as well. When they were finished, the agent shook both their hands and congratulated them on their new place before taking her leave.

Beca flopped down onto the couch, the fabric warm from being in the sun. Emily dropped down beside her and snuggled into her side, pulling Beca’s arm around her shoulder.

“This is our apartment,” Beca said, almost in a daze as she looked around.

“Feels good, huh?” Emily asked with a warm smile, turning to pull Beca into a kiss. Beca felt her heart warm and flutter as she cupped Emily’s cheek gently. She couldn’t believe this. A week ago, she thought she would be saying goodbye to the Bellas and Emily for the foreseeable future, and now she was living in LA and Emily was her girlfriend. It was almost insane how it had happened, but now that it had she couldn’t be happier.

“We should start unpacking,” Emily said with a smile and a sigh, finally standing from the couch. “Time to make this apartment a home.”

Emily extended a hand to Beca and Beca took it, letting Emily pull her up and into her arms with a chuckle. Emily bent down and Beca popped up on her tiptoes, meeting her halfway to press her lips to Emily’s.

“As long as I’m with you, I am home,” Beca said quietly. Emily huffed out a surprised laugh and gave Beca a shove.

“You’re such a dork,” Emily said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and giving her a squeeze. “But you’re my dork.”

“Well let’s get moving cause your dork wants to take a nap,” Beca grumbled before smiling again, unable to fight it.

“Aye aye captain,” Emily said goofily, saluting her and heading out into the hallway so they could fetch the boxes from the car.

Beca laughed and trailed after Emily. She turned and took another look at the apartment, open and bright before her. It was perfect. Everything was perfect. Emily called out to her and Beca smiled to herself before locking the door and following Emily out to the car and into their new life together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost sad it's over. Also, let me know if you want a mini-series of deleted scenes from this fic, or scenes from the perspective of other characters. I think that'd be really fun to write!


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